Critique please :-)

[lpetiti]

Hi everyone!

So I am doing a 1920s theme for Inktober this year...at least that WILL be the plan. I’m technically 2 weeks behind because of an injury. I decided to practice using Adobe Fresco using a prompt since my arm was feeling better. I’m wondering what you all think? Thanks in advance!

[Lovsey]

@lpetiti Hi! Such an interesting theme and the era is definitely apparent in this image - she has a perfect 1920’s appearance
I like your colour palette and your treatment of the smoke. I do find myself wishing the shapes of the arms/hands were a bit more refined with simple indications of fingers as her hands are focal points given that she is holding a microphone and gesturing with her other hand. Also, it is a bit unclear about what she is sitting on as it doesn’t look 3-dimensional, possibly because edges are being lost in the smoke.

I’m glad to hear your arm injury is improving enough for you to draw again!

[lpetiti]

@Lovsey me too! And I definitely agree about the hands...definitely not my strong suit, haha

[tenmei]

Hello Lauren, I really love the "smoky ambiance". Really feels like a jazz club!

I am not sure, but in my humble opinion, maybe the head is a bit of the small side? I would test how it looks a bit bigger. Or her legs are too long....Not sure. I would play a bit there. I am not an expert.

Her mic is almost tangent with her shoulder top, having it a bit up will make a clearer silouette.

Lastly, it is really intriging the fact that she is looking outside the frame, but I am not certain on what she is doing. Is she just being sassy? trying to seduce someone? Just happy singing? Just finished signing? Now she is looking... but she has a mic and I am not certain about the story behind.

Those are just some thoughts...please feel free not to take them

I just read about your arm. I am glad you got better now!!

Bon courage!

[lpetiti]

@tenmei Thank you! You're right, after I finished messing around with it last night I noticed that maybe the proportions were a bit off. I wondered if maybe it had to do with the proportions of her facial features, but you're right, it could be the head. I'll definitely try playing with the proportions in Photoshop.

I like your critique about the story elements of this piece. I admit I was a bit nervous to try to do anything but a neutral facial expression on her, but I did toy with the idea of trying to have her singing.

[lpetiti]

I was able to make some changes....if anyone is able to,what are your thoughts?