Kamari Thumbnails — Critiques Welcome

[MarcRobinson]

@Katherine love the idea of the giant snail. For me the second idea is the most clear in terms of story and composition.

[KevinTreaccar]

@Katherine I think 1 is the clearest because I know what the new beginning is – the new steed. For 2, I would probably need a hint where the soul is going.

On 1, I wonder if it might help to flip the layout. The Kamari sentence is structured to be End first, then New Beginning second. We might want to see the old steed first, and then the possibility of a new steed second.

[Chantal Goetheer]

@Katherine I would say 1.
2 is clear to me but my guess is that that line of thought is bound to be around often. Nr 1 is more unique and a nice touch with the giant snail. Agree with @KevinTreaccar to try what happens if you flip it around.

[Katherine]

Thanks guys! Here's my first rough — I changed the snail from just being her steed to being her home. As always critiques are very welcome

[Katherine]

@MarcRobinson Thanks Marc — I thought I might combine the two and have some glowy motes rising up from the snail whilst the new friend is in the background.

[Katherine]

@KevinTreaccar Thanks Kevin — that was a good suggestion and I just realised I didn't do it Shoot.

[Katherine]

@Chantal-Goetheer Thanks Chantal — yeah I should've tried flipping it! Drat!

[MarcRobinson]

@Katherine Nice one, I'm really liking the direction you're going with this one.

[KevinTreaccar]

@Katherine Haha, just don’t let it happen again.

[Katherine]

@KevinTreaccar ahaha! Pinky promise, Kevin!

[Katherine]

So I've combined my initial concepts from the thumbnails in this rough — Kamari could be interpreted to be either the snail or the person farewelling the snail.

The snail's spirit is being welcomed by a "Shinigami", a supernatural spirit that invites humans (or in this case a snail) toward death.

The human (now very tiny), is saying farewell to the snail and will be dressed with travel gear and rucksack because they are also leaving their home behind.

The reason I changed it up is because I thought the new beginning wasn't very clear in the last rough. As stand-alone pieces I'm not sure either is better than the other. As entries into Critique Arena I think the second rough is better but I could be wrong.

What do you think?

And if it helps, here they are side by side:

[Katherine]

So I've just realised I can simplify the illustration and illustrate the dead snail and the character with a rucksack on his back saying goodby to the snail and that covers both the end and the beginning!!! mind-blown. Why am I so slow... hahaha. The question is should I go with one of the other 2 roughs anyway because they're a bit more visually interesting or stick with the simpler illustration?

[MarcRobinson]

@Katherine I really like the framing effect of the second composition, but I hear that simplifying the image is usually the way to go. Sorry that's not much help ha.

[kirsten-mcg]

@Katherine I really like the composition of your roughs. I'm more drawn to the first one because the character is larger and easier to see. That said, it might be better to go with your simpler idea. Complex stories can be hard to get across with only pictures! I think that's why this prompt is so hard.

[Griffin McPherson]

@Katherine I really like how the 2nd option looks but I don’t think the whole new beginning concept is clear. I wish I had something more helpful to offer but I’m not sure how this could be clarified without making a very different image. I really do like it on it’s own though. I’m looking forward to whatever you come up with!

[Katherine]

Hi folks, thank you to everyone for your help on this one! I ended up going with the simplest version of my concept. It turned out incredibly different to the roughs I shared with you! At a certain point I realised I'd run out of time to share progress and get critiques and just had to finish it though

Did anyone else have immense trouble deciding on the colour palette for this one?! With the 2 conflicting themes I felt like I had to choose between a more gloomy palette and a more hopeful one — I ended up going with the more hopeful palette.