Slowvember piece feedback
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Hi all, I’m wondering if I can get some crit feedback on my slowvember piece. I’m trying to get it improved and fix any bits.
I also missed the live crit. So I’m not sure if I got any input from the big three tutors.
A couple of bits I’m not happy with.
The hands and arms need work.
The wind looks hairy. Too many lines
The introduction of warm and cool contrasting colours altered the composition.
Also I’m not sure if the loose foreground really helped. I think would be happier with a bit more detail
If there’s any feedback or suggestions anyone can add at all I would be most grateful.
It’s always interesting to see everyone’s viewpoint.
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Others can let me know if I am not remembering critique right but here goes my memory:
If the wild wind was necessary for the story, because it comes across as the star and I think they were interested in the charity of the girl giving to the birds. I think they said they liked your colours. Also someone suggested you could also focus on her face more because it lacked expression or they just wanted to see more expression in relation to the story of giving,
I personally like the energy and rhythm of this piece but I missed the charity aspect, sorry because of the blustering surrounding. Reminds me of one or two dreams of being in a world wind tornado.
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I really enjoyed this piece, including the contrasting warm/cool. Certainly at present the wind is the star. Maybe I was one of the few to see the plate of bird food and imagine the birds struggling to come in for a landing. I remember someone commenting that the face "was a missed opportunity". The eyes are probably what mine look like in the wind (dry eyes!) Maybe you could get the wind across with the motion of branches, grasses, hair, rabbit's ears, and clouds. Less "hairy" wind would make everything else easier to see (I only just now saw the rabbit and squirrel), and allow us to appreciate the textures in the background trees and clouds.
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What I recall was wanting either:
- Removal of the wind to focus on feeding the birds (and hone in on that as the story element). Otherwise it was detracting as a story element.
- Change her expression to match the intensity of the situation so that the energy of the scene was the primary story element.
I just remember what the intention was getting lost because while they really liked it, they couldn't tell what the focus was.
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@jdubz @jdubz @Heather-Boyd thank you all so much for your feedback. I’ll Work away on these issues to improve it.
