October WIP, would love your feedback!

  • Nice improvement! I think it's much easier to understand now that you've included the numbering. 🙂

  • @chrisaakins Thank you!

  • @Meta thank you for your many suggestions! Yep, definitely a good idea to make Penny pop a bit more and to add some elements that make the dog recognizable like spots (which I actually had in version 1! 🙂 ). In general, not all the values have been applied so far and I've left some areas, like Penny and the big pipe, temporarily blank cause I wanted to approach the drawing one step at a time and figure a few things out as I went. I will definitely try a couple of options in Photoshop first. I am thinking to darken the walls and the floor, maybe not black, but just enough to make the two characters pop more on a dark background.

  • Second image looks better @Elena-Marengoni 🙂 I'm looking at the scientist guy and thinking he's pacing back and forth in excitement whilst pointing at either the dog or the pictures on the wall. Was that the intention?

    Also if he's pacing back and forth or continuing his experiment, he might need space on the floor to walk around. Would rethinking the placement of these objects work better in your opinion?

  • @Zeyad Yep, the intention was to show the scientist jumping in excitement. I agree that the space is a little tight (part of the concept was to show that the lab is a little cluttered but maybe I overdid it), not sure if I'll be able to move things around as this is actual ink on paper 😞

  • @Elena-Marengoni To me, it's clear that she is jumping about in excitement. Not so sure about the emotion and condition of the dog, though ... What was he intended to be like?

  • @Meta in my intention the dog is puzzled and a little bit surprised (negatively) at the sight of the frightening documentation of the repeated (and failed) experiments...hope that's coming through!

  • @Elena-Marengoni hmmm, no, not yet ... He seems to be looking into nowhere, a bit like a zombi. Maybe it's because of where his eyes point. If you imagine his eyeballs in a 3-dimensional room, they don't point towards the wall with the pics, but follow a line parallel to that wall, maybe to the ceiling. For looking at the pics, he would have to turn his head and/or his eyes more. I don't know if I am the only one who read his behavior like this?

  • @Meta I might have been looking at it for too long so I don't see it right away, but I do see where your're coming from. I'll accentuate the fact that his gaze points sideways more than upwards, hopefully that will improve the way the story reads! 🙂

  • Here is my progress! I feel like the feedback I got helped me a lot to make this better...so thank you all for sending your suggestions! What's missing now is just fine-tuning some values in the scanned version....maybe still not perfect as I imagined it, but I am happy about the journey and the things I have learned! 🙂

    Screenshot 2019-10-29 at 12.53.23.png

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