October contest critique please

[juliekitzes]

Hi guys,

This is my first time trying to enter an SVS contest. Resurrection and ink? How could I resist. I'd love some critiques both on the narrative of the illustration and the technical aspects. I'm feeling like maybe I should do it over with a less messy inking style? Try to keep it cleaner and pay more attention to light sources? What do you think? Does the story come across clearly? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[TwiggyT]

I think the narrative reads really clearly: she lost her dog and called him back with a ouija board.

Technically speaking, I think you have some lines that are strong that don't need to be. I don't know how to explain this in just a little text block. Like the lines on the tops of the arms are heavy, but the lines of the bottoms of the arms should be heavier than the top since the bottoms carry more weight (if that makes sense?)

I'm sorry, I don't know how to explain what I'm trying to say very well.

[TessaW]

I think the narrative reads very well.

Technically I think it might be better to de-emphasize the women operating the oujia board so that the dog and the center figure become more prominent. I think this could be done by darkening them further into the shadows and by making the left woman's gaze go downward to the board- or perhaps have her looking at the dog. I think the tear could also be handled with a little more finesse- it comes across like makeup smears or a tattoo in my opinion. Maybe lighten the line for the trail mark.

I love the concept! It's very sweet and an unexpected take on the prompt. Well done.

[juliekitzes]

@TwiggyT I totally get what you mean and it makes perfect sense. I'll be sure to address that in the revision. Thanks so much

[juliekitzes]

@TessaW All good points to address. Thank you very much