Would love feedback on this sketch
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I'm trying to make up my own editorial assignments for practice and this is a piece for an article about insomnia. I'd love to know how it reads and get any feedback before I actually put too much work into it.
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@juliekitzes The initial impact and read is really good, I think you have a great piece here. I think you nailed the colours! The sheep did not read so well for me at first, and I do not understand the numbers - are they reflecting times? I wonder if the owl and the sheep are too much together, what if you tried eliminating one?
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@juliekitzes I agree with @Erin-Cortese about the colors and the sheep did not read as well initially for me either. But I got the owl clock eyes (at least how I read it!) that she went to bed at 11:45 and was still awake at 6:15 (I think that’s 6:15).
The only thing I would add is that to me the sheep count should read left to right if there are 3 sequential sheep (agree with spacing between owl & sheep—perhaps try reducing them in size?).
Her eyes and the colors definitely read insomnia!
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@BichonBistro @Erin-Cortese Thanks guys. So the numbers on the sheep were just meant to indicate that she had been counting them for a really long time but if that's not apparent I'll just eliminate them. The numbers on the clocks in the owls eyes were random but I really like that idea and am going to go with it. Would the sheep read better if they were fluffier/cartoonier?
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@juliekitzes i do like the fact that the high numbers indicate long counting time. Yes, fluffy coats will read better as sheep and the ear on the one on the left reads better as a sheep’s ear to me.
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I made the sheep fluffy and removed the numbers from them. I also had the idea to turn the whole circular shape into the face of an alarm clock but I don't know if I like it or not. Thoughts?
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@juliekitzes I really love the way the alarm clock reads, you have it covered just the right amount! The composition with the alarm clock feel like it has better balance than the first one, and it has more impact on first impression. If you are not sure about the look of the alarm clock, you could make it more subtle by removing the alarm bells and feet and just use the clock face. I think it would work either way. I definitely like the look of the fluffy sheep. I agree with @BichonBistro about the sheep on the left. It is more recognizable as a sheep than the other because of the way you have drawn the ear.
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I like the change you made with the alarm clock! I think it fits in well thematically with the image.
The one thing I'd like to point out is that the left sheep is creating a bit of a tangent with the edge of the circle/alarm clock. A way to fix this and add a bit more symmetrical weight is to maybe change the angle of its legs so its kicking out into the white space on the left (like the head of the sheep on the right!).
Great colors and expression- it makes me feel restless and tired just looking at that character! Oof!
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Thanks so much for all the feedback guys. @ajnewman I tried to fix the tangent with adding more of a tail to that lamb.
Here's the finished piece.
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Wow, this is super impressive! I love how much of a story it tells and yet looks so simple
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@juliekitzes wonderful editorial style. This would be a great spot illustration, at the very least. I like the night owl, maybe larger in scale??
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@juliekitzes I love the final piece! It has great style and colour.
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Oooh, great! It looks fantastic!
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I saw this on Instagram I think it looks amazing. I love the colours you used and it really gives the feeling of insomia.
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@ajnewman @DOTTYP @Erin-Cortese @Tom-Shannon @jwing Thanks all! It was a fun piece to make
