Post-Critique WIP Update!

[bobbyfasel]

Hi everyone! I'm Bobby. This is my first official post here on the forums~
We just wrapped up with the general critique session. It was super helpful. I got some great pointers from both Will and Lee, and learned a lot from the critiques of others as well. So that's good!

I'm going to go ahead and post on this thread as I work through the remainder of this piece.
I'm always up for constructive criticism & pointers, so no need to hold back there. As long as all is in the sake of improvement

Here's where I'm at right now. This is after employing quite a bit of Will's suggestions. I've got a bit of a ways to go yet, but I'm excited for where it's heading!

Here's a little set of images to show you what I've gone through to get where I am now.

Anyhow!! I'm super excited to be posting on here. Even more stoked for us all to further ourselves as artists n get to know each other!!

[Katherine]

I’m charmed by how moved the character is by the moonlight - he even looks like he’s almost tearing up a little bit. Overall, I get the sense that it’s a quiet, special moment.

There not a huge amount of variety in terms of sizes and shapes of objects but maybe that's okay because it's a calm scene. I like the subtle diagonals. I don't know if you want feedback on the text, but I find it a little unclear. It sounds like you're saying he's excited by both the moonlight and the landscape - is that what you mean? I wonder if you could add a bit movement by adding some dust motes making spirals in the shaft of moonlight? Not necessary by any means, just an idea. It's not entirely clear if that snaking line is a road or a river. I think I'd make the weight of the line closer to us a bit thicker to provide a bit more sense of depth - getting thinner as it get further away. I think I'd like the window to be a bit more expansive. I'm feeling a bit hemmed in looking over his shoulder and only seeing a small crop of the landscape he's getting so excited about.

This character is very endearing although I definitely read it as feminine - it's the big poof of hair at the front.

That's about all I can think of. Overall, really lovely work. Even if you don't make any of those changes I suggested it's still fabulous.

[bobbyfasel]

Thanks for your comments! I'll keep them in mind as I progress on the piece.
Re: the character's gender - unless there's a purpose I like to keep it a little ambiguous, especially for this character. Something out there for those who don't feel so strictly boyish or girlish.

[Leontine]

@bobbyfasel Hi Bobby, Welcome here and yes, well done on the paint over! its really nice!

[bharris]

I really like the crop you did and the reasoning you used! Very thoughtful. Lovely work!

[Dulcie]

Welcome Bobby, it is great to have you with us and to see your fabulous work! I really like the way you've got the moonlit feel with the cool tones.

[joanie stone]

It's looking nice and I like how you changed the moonglow from warm to cool.