Would love to give a critique

  • @missmushy Thank you for posting this one...

    Here's what I would change:

    1. Figures are more dynamic and interesting than signs so I would make the moose much larger in your composition.

    2. If you arrange your signs in the voided spaces between your figures you will create a more natural fitting composition. Right now you have the sign bumping into the top of the rabbit's head.

    3. In general if you treat your text as an object along with the signs and the figures you can use up your dead space giving more space to the essentials. In this case I think the text fits better at the bottom.

    4. Working on getting more accurate anatomy in your characters will be less distracting to your viewer.

    Thank you - fun piece!


  • SVS OG

    @will-terry Thanks soooo much! I was struggling with fitting those signs into the frame that I was thinking I would just lose them altogether but I see how it could work now. I see what you mean about character size. I think I was thinking moose was in distance so should look smaller but I see what you mean. Just watched your classes on character design and poses so have lots of beans to draw to get my characters right! Thanks again for taking your time to give me feedback - truly appreciate it!

  • @jbleau Thank you for uploading this one!

    I'm not going to critique story content as you mentioned that you're just using this piece for rendering practice.

    Here's what I would change:

    1. I made some drawing changes and even though they aren't part of the rendering - I think they are worth mentioning. Watch your perspective on objects that come toward your viewer - they need to get larger.

    2. Whenever you can avoid objects with severe fore-shortening you'll be able to communicate more easily - so I moved the rabbit's leg more towards 3/4 view.

    3. Your lighting needs to remain consistent throughout. Looking at your dog for lighting cues we can tell that the light is coming from above and behind your characters - but it breaks down on the rabbit.

    4. I would add some foreground elements to build depth.

    I really hope this helps!



  • Hi Will! Thank you so much for this opportunity to get feedback.
    0_1515764008127_dieren op fiets_dian.jpg

  • Hi everyone,

    Thank you for participating!!!!

    I'm going to close out this thread since it's getting really hard for people to find now.

    I started a new one today for critiques. If you didn't get your piece critiqued here on this thread you can re-upload to the new one. I decided to try to help more people and generate more interest by showing my critique in a Facebook Live Broadcast.

    Here's the link to the new thread: http://forum.svslearn.com/topic/5418/critiques-for-a-facebook-live-in-february

  • @will-terry I hadn't checked in a while, didn't realize you did this. Thanks for taking the time!

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