Hi 3pp and SVS! I'm about a year into illustrating my current book project, and I currently work a day job in a warehouse that makes frames and assembles art for hotels. I really want to have more self-discipline in my regular art practice, but I find it very difficult due to how exhausted I am after I work all day at my day job. I also tend to dread working on my current book work because I don't have a whole lot of creative freedom, I'm not in love with the project, and it just feels like work.
I tried to have a whole day in my studio where I did only personal work for fun because I wanted to de-stress, but I drew an entire blank the whole day. I literally sat for hours and felt paralyzed because it had been so long since I felt that art was fun and relaxing. And every time I tried to let loose and experiment, my inner critic would stop me before I started- I was surprised at how uncomfortable it was.
So basically my questions are: How can I use art to decompress when my day job is exhausting and I have to commit a lot of time to illustrating a book I do not enjoy? What practices, exercises, or routines can I implement into my practice that will make me love to make art again? Also, what can I do to reduce the anxiety that causes me to hardcore procrastinate picking up my pencil each time?
Thanks!
P.S. 3pp inspires me to dream of a future where I'm happy doing what I love, and I love y'all for that 
@ChloeGreenbergArt I can totally relate. I have zero energy after a full day of looking after my 3 kids, and it's so hard to get to the drawing table. I actually have never really enjoyed doing a freelance gig. It always feels like a slog. I've heard that a good way to actually enjoy doing client work is to only take work that you'd love to do. But that seems like a luxury. I'm leaning away from client work and only focusing on my own stories and I would o ly do client work if I was really into it, or it was a quick job. I think maybe the reason you couldn't make your own work on that day is because in the back of your mind you knew you should have been doing the other book. I know this isn't really helpful, but I just wanted to say that I think many of us here would empathise with your position.
I just had the same thought the other day, I've been so concentrated on improving and learning all the stuff here it was feeling like work. I started taking some images I like and doing them in "my" style. I wasn't concerning myself with all the rules (although I kept some of my new skills in mind) but since I didn't have to come up with the subject matter I could just draw.
So that would be my suggestion, find an image you like and do your version of it, like fan art. It doesn't have a be a portfolio piece!
@ChloeGreenbergArt Maybe change your schedule. After returning home from work, and doing the necessities, go to bed asap. Wake up in the earlier hours of the morning do your illustration work, then go to your warehouse job. I sometimes do this. Many of my co-workers do gym training at 4am, then go to work.
Or take a short nap; it should reboot your brain. And a 30-minute physical exercise will wake up the entire body.
The procrastination question is a hard one. Try identifying how you've been motivated in the past. Was it emotional inspiration? Competition?
Are you easily distracted? Maybe a change to your environment can help.
I have found it to be super helpful to find my why. I spent many years as a sole illustrator for an author who did nothing with the work I provided. I was dried out and used up so to speak, nothing great really came of the work I did for her. And I hated it! She was art directing everything and changed on a dime, it felt like a ball and chain. I felt sooo bad for so long that I never thought I'd want to draw ever again.
Fast forward to now: I have taken the last 3 years to get up to speed. To refine my skills, and to try to stay open and love the process, even though it can feel like a slog. Which there are days like that. And if I zoom out, I see where the problem is, and it's usually not wanting to be where I am at, thinking I need to be somewhere else, and it feels like a drag in this way which slows things way down.
So I had to change it up. I took some classes online where I have to post every day. Using new traditional materials, play and make mistakes, I put on music that inspires, and it reconnected me back to myself, my why. And that really ignited the fun. I got a little carried away doing that and had to get back to my client work, yet it cleared the heavy fog and I am making better work as a result of taking that time to play.
I think what happens sometimes is we get distracted, with social media, or shiny object syndrome, or we are just plain ass tired. We sometimes just need a recharge. I love the idea of the 4 hour workday. I get up crazy early (4 am) and after a meditation I get to work. Then I just get after what needs to be done! It might be cliche but it works. 
And then if there is energy for other stuff later, great, if not, go to bed early and get after it again.
I hope this helps!
@ChloeGreenbergArt one thing I would advice is “listen to yourself” there is this phrase that a writer said “I hate to write but I love haven written” so with those two we can say the following
art is a wonderful way to express ourselves and this is joyful magic, but if you are doing a 200 page graphic novel you know you will have to do some drudgery work.
The catch here is that as you work for others you might feel stuck in the grind without too much of the joy. So maybe you can put it under a new focus.
Like instead of getting home tired and “having to draw” just record an audio for yourself like a friend telling each other what would you like to draw or write. Also cool hunting, take yourself through the moodboard process of the drawings, all these steps need to be done in order to have a great piece but instead of doing more of what you did all day you can do the elbow work of it, so whenever comes the day (and itll come) that you say hey I feel like drawing today, your creative bank will be full and you can just unwind. Also it takes the obrigation of having to do it and turns it into a yay I can do this now
@MarcRobinson I understand and this is way I didnt had any finished work at all, I was always too busy with work. But this year I tricked myself using Jakes planner because I put the quarterly focus down, and my mind saw that I was going to give time to these projects and the next ones already have a spot there so I didnt needed to worry and could sit down and draw. It was like getting onto a plane and not worrying about having to drive because “I will get there” so I just got to work.
@scotthigginsart there is a great piece on Mr Beast ( I think Jake shared this?) where he was so optimized and streamlined in his process that all his time was devoted to a perfect video. But then he noticed he was becoming a robot and he could see it in his work, so he decided to add a bit of “not work” to his life because that is what keeps the other things working, so yeah you have a great point into maybe is a great time to go and make a pizza and so on
@ChloeGreenbergArt When you're doing art for fun/personal, you have to be comfortable with making ugly art. If it's for fun, it doesn't matter what the end result is like. The expectation of having to make something that looks good is what is paralyzing you. When experimenting, there's no way to know if it'll turn out good - it's an experiment. If you fear making ugly art, you can't let loose enough to try it.
So sit down with the goal of making something ugly! Like... grab some Crayola markers and the ugliest color palette you can muster, and draw with that. Full expectation that it will look bad. And just have fun!
Thanks for all your advice, everyone! I wanted to give a little update because this week has been going well in this sense. The spread I'm working on for my client this sprint is one that I'm actually very happy with and excited about, so it's been a lot easier to get motivation for that. Plus, yesterday I just did a little 2 hour study just for fun of my cat, and I just completely lost myself in it. I was experimenting with new procreate brushes and high contrast lighting from a good reference. It turned out really nice. I think just doing realism studies can help me get in the zone and not think too much about what I'm doing. And I'm sure the practice is good too!
Hopefully I can keep this kind of energy up, because I've actually been feeling very good about drawing after reading all your lovely comments
@scotthigginsart there is a great piece on Mr Beast ( I think Jake shared this?) where he was so optimized and streamlined in his process that all his time was devoted to a perfect video. But then he noticed he was becoming a robot and he could see it in his work, so he decided to add a bit of “not work” to his life because that is what keeps the other things working, so yeah you have a great point into maybe is a great time to go and make a pizza and so on
