A "Storm" WIP that lacks cuteness

PenAndrew

@Jeremiahbrown I think I would bring the child forward creating more of a triangular composition and focus which also allows you to show more of the child, as at the moment they are all alongside one another, you could also knock the parents down in value. I think the arrows and directions have to be either less pronounced or more pronounced. Excellent rendering as always.

Jeremiahbrown

@PenAndrew Thank you, those are great suggestions. I'll play around.
@jdubz Haha, there's potential there somewhere

lizardillo

Hi @Jeremiahbrown, this is yet another wonderfully rendered illustration of yours. I've just managed to watch the 'Lucky' Critique Arena (wow, that was crazy wasn't it?! ) and Will kindly did a draw-over on my illustration which had the same kind of layout as this. He changed one of the elements to be in the foreground and it really made a difference, just as @PenAndrew has already mentioned above ️.

Even if you feel this would not be suitable to get into the last 16 for Critique Arena I would suggest to keep it, as this may be a great portfolio piece to show an editorial style illustration.

Jeremiahbrown

@lizardillo @PenAndrew I took your advice and gave it another go.

AngelinaKizz

@Jeremiahbrown that really enhanced your story! The girl is much more the focal point, and she feels more ignored.

Kristen Lango

@Jeremiahbrown oh that really helped! I think this is much improved - the only thing I'd maybe change now is the direction that the mom is looking in... right now it seems she is kind of looking into the distance, and I think it might be even more effective if her glare was darting at the dad, which will give an even bigger emphasis to this young girl being really forgotten in the storm.

PenAndrew

@Jeremiahbrown Yes, it is visually stronger, and now the sense of isolation and hurt is stronger too, and I like the trail leading to her.

PenAndrew

@Jeremiahbrown this is so much fun- with the comments and I love the Princess jasmine costume and what this says about the character.

PenAndrew

@lizardillo I am still waiting to see this Lucky critique arena. It sounds like a not to be missed episode!

lizardillo

@Jeremiahbrown That’s really working now

Jeremiahbrown

Thanks for all of the feedback!