Implementing feedback from Critique Arena
First of all I want to say thank you for the amazing feedback on my "Star" entry.
I agree with you that my entry lacked in storytelling so I updated it. I did a bit of study on how starfishes reproduce and I found out that one way is to fertilize the eggs, which then form in larvae. The larvae starts to float and travels trough the ocean until it lands on a reef.
I updated the piece by adding little starfish larvaes which landed on the whales and started forming into grown-up starfishes. They are now traveling with the whales, but can jump off at any time/or fall off.
I am looking forward to hear your thoughts.
Wishing you a great weekend guys!
Peter Anton last edited by
I think it looks great! One thing you could consider is the edges of the cast shadows. They are equally as hard as edges around the body, and are almost the exact same shape, only shifted down a bit. This creates a "same, same, same" effect which makes the shadows much less interesting than they could be if you gave them their own textural quality, distinct from the bodies. I attached an image of what I'm talking about, how soft the shadows of the boats are. It won't be as extreme in yours, but bringing some of that softness in, or suggesting water caustics could be cool
NicolaSchofield last edited by
@samanta it's a lovely image with great composition and shapes. It keeps my eye moving around nicely and I also really like the colour palette.
If your aim was to add story telling though then I think you need to do more than your changes here. I'm still not really getting any sense of story and probably wouldn't have noticed what had actually changed between the two images if you hadn't said.
Perhaps think about what you want people to feel or think when they see this image and then decide what you need to do to make that happen.
Thank you Peter. I get your point, in that way the shadows wouldn't be taking the focus away from the main part of the image
Thank you for the example, I will try to implement it.
I appreciate your feedback.
Can you try to look just at the second image without comparing it to the first one and tell me if you still think the same?
What is your main confusion with it?
I updated it.
The edges are a bit less soft now, I have reduced the opacity a bit and made it a bit more blurred.
I think it looks less distracting. Let me know if you feel the same.
NicolaSchofield last edited by
@samanta I don't think I'm confused by it. I see an image of whales with star fish on them. The star fish are different sizes / ages.
You said you wanted to create more storytelling so I'm asking myself questions like what is the specific story in this image? What has just happened / is just about to happen? What is the main emotion the piece evokes? What is the relationship between the characters? I'm not getting clear answers to these questions just looking at the image.
What do the whales think of these star fish? Are they annoying? Heavy? Ticklish? Or are the whales happy to have some live-in friends?
What do the star fish think of the set-up? Exhilarated by the ride? Scared they might fall off? etc. etc.
carlianne last edited by
I agree with @nicolaschofield it's a beautifully painted piece. For a decorative illustration or fine art it's totally fine, but if you're going for visual storytelling that's not quite happening right now.
If you're going for visual storytelling then I don't think many people would know those little red dots are babies so the image doesn't communicate clearly. But even with that knowledge there is no emotional connection being created with us or between the characters.
Let me give you a different example:
If two characters were standing side by side looking at the camera in a neutral position holding a balloon. There wouldn't be a story yet. They are not interacting with each other or the prop and are not expressing any emotion. If one looks happy with the balloon and the other looks grumpy or jealous we have the beginning of some story telling. As a viewer I start to see a connection between the characters and see that there is some history between them. Now let's say the grumpy character looks malevolent and has a pin behind his back. Now we start to tell a future story as well and the audience can imagine what will happen next.
For example you could have the shadow of a shark over them to indicate danger or something to this image to add story but I'd personally just think about this idea when creating my next piece as this image is very lovely for a decorative Illustration.
Lee has a visual storytelling class here and it's AMAZING if you want more ideas and a deeper understanding
Thank you so much for taking the time and explaining a bit more about the lack of storytelling.
@NicolaSchofield The questions that you ask really help me to get a sense what is the viewer searching in the image so I will try to give them that the next time.
@carlianne The balloon example is great! I think I understand now what is the difference between an illustration with or without storytelling.
Storytelling is still a bit hard for me since I am just starting to dabble more and more into illustrations. I have started with the Curriculum and Lee's class is already on my list. Thanks!