Started off with a fairly boring concept (gold star on a spelling quiz). Decided it needed more explosions and smoking craters, so this is what I've got so far 
I'm gonna redraw the wagon and star, but I like the colours so far!
@braden-hallett Hi Braden! I like what you have so far - especially the kid's expression! What's the story behind the volcano? I may be missing something obvious but am super curious so thought i'd ask.
@braden-hallett I love the idea of the kid grabbing hold of the fallen star or at least that's how I read it. Clever idea, it's got energy and excitement ("look at me, look at me, I've got a fallen star, hehehe!") and the colours are good start.
@braden-hallett great expressions and movement.
But I'm gonna agree with @KathrynAdebayo on this one -- the concept isn't clear.
Just looking at the picture, without knowing anything about the story in your head, there are a lot of questions for me. Why is the boy running away gleefully with a star in his wagon? How did the star get there? Why is there a smoking crater? Did the star make that crater? If so, then why is the star so small when the crater is so huge?
I do see the faint trail made by the star from the crater, but with the values the way they are, splitting the composition almost in half, there is a disconnect for me between the two.
Guess what I'm trying to say is: I'd love to see more story here, and for it to be more clearly communicated.
All this being said, this is a strong piece in terms of expression and drawing skill. I wish I had the control over value that you do!
illustrator - author - smiley person
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@kathrynadebayo said in "star" WIP:
What's the story behind the volcano?
Time methinks to redraw things! The volcano is meant to be an impact crater from the star
@melissa-bailey-0 said in "star" WIP:
the concept isn't clear.
Better to know now than to discover it later after submission 
Time to take another pass at the crater!
@braden-hallett ahhh, I see now. If there were some smoking stars visible and sticking out in the crater that would show what was going on. On another note... I would love to be able to draw human characters and expressions like you do!
Website: lizardillo.co.uk
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@lizardillo said in "star" WIP:
If there were some smoking stars visible and sticking out in the crater
I like that idea! I'll see what I can do
Does register as a bit more a crater instead of a volcano now?
@braden-hallett This reads way more clearly! I love the perfect star indentation in the crater. It made me laugh.
Andrea Zupcsan
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@azupcsan Awesome! That's great to know Thanks!
Bigger star is better star! I think I may give the kid some oven mitts
@braden-hallett Looks awesome!
@braden-hallett YES! Concept is WAY more clear and I love the dripping star!
Is it still hot? Could it still be smoking or glowing? Love the idea of the oven mitts. Shows the boy's determination and ingenuity.
illustrator - author - smiley person
mbaileyart.com
instagram.com/mbaileyart/
@Braden-Hallett First of all kudos to the great silhouette of the main character with the reflected light on the rock face. What an ingenious way to solve this problem.
I wonder if the perspective of the crater is wonky. With it being raised so much it still reads as a caldera rather than an impact crater. What if you let the background ground extend more past the crater? or flattened the crater a little? I mean it still reads well and I am being a nitpicky ex-science person here...
@braden-hallett It hasn't been mentioned and I think it would help that perhaps the boy would be singed a bit after all he did grab hold and lift the star into his wagon, and if it has left little glowing parts behind it would have left something on him. I liked more smoke personally.
@braden-hallett love this!the idea is phenomenal! I d seriously consider giving the boy an animal friend, to share his joy of finding this huge treasure.Shared joy is double the joy!!
@chrisaakins said in "star" WIP:
or flattened the crater a little?
I think that's probably my best bet! I'll do that
@heather-boyd said in "star" WIP:
It hasn't been mentioned and I think it would help that perhaps the boy would be singed a bit after all he did grab hold and lift the star into his wagon,
I'm thinking of adding some oven mitts! He definitely would be a tad singed I'll be adding the smoke back in once I've figured a few other things out
@georgios-christopoulos said in "star" WIP:
I d seriously consider giving the boy an animal friend
Perhaps some terrified wildlife still shocked by the blast from the impact?
Work progresses!
If not done it's close to done! I'm gonna put it away for a few days and come back to it
Started off with a fairly boring concept (gold star on a spelling quiz). Decided it needed more explosions and smoking craters, so this is what I've got so far
I'm gonna redraw the wagon and star, but I like the colours so far!
