Don't Peek! WIP Please Critique!
I have been inspired by my favourite artist, Pascal Campion. He has made some awesome pictures about family and the relatable moments that come with having children.
I would love to make something that would help others feel as happy as his art makes me. The problem is I feel like my art does not have the wow factor that would give you an emotional reaction. I think it has a lot to do with my art style being too comical. What do you think? and what do you think? And does it look good technically.
NicolaSchofield last edited by
I love the energy and it's a really happy moment
My eye is drawn by the lamp in the bottom right and just keeps coming back to it, I think because it's so bright. And I was thinking there is a lot of space behind the laptop that is sort of redundant? It doesn't feel like it's adding anything to the scene so maybe a simple crop could focus eyes on the action more? Keep just enough information so we know they're looking at a computer screen but I don't think you need more than that to tell the story here. What do you think?:
Casual-T last edited by
@Kori-Jensen This is a very fun illustration! I like it... @NicolaSchofield's suggestion makes sense. I would perhaps add that you could draw more attention to the 3 kids by adjusting the lighting. Maybe darken the background and have the light from the computer monitor illuminate the kids. Campion's use of light is incredible, and always seems to draw the viewer's attention to exactly where he wants them to look.
And I don't necessarily think that style has that much of an impact on the viewer's emotional response. People react to story more than to style... My two cents!
@Casual-T thank you for your input:) Im glad you like it. I'll work on the lighting as you say. I had that in my original idea but I didn't know how distracting it'd be. Thank you so much.
@NicolaSchofield wow I can see how that changes the entire image... but I love the casualty of what's on the desk... do you think I should just get rid of the lamp all together? Thank you so much btw...
NicolaSchofield last edited by
@Kori-Jensen I think if you change the lighting as suggested to be mainly the light from the laptop screen then you don't need the lamp, so you could remove it or just have it switched off?
@NicolaSchofield lol I love the suggestion of turning off the lamp. You make it sound so tangible. I'll most certainly try to encorperate this suggestion. Thank you so much!
@Kori-Jensen hi Kori! Have you done the dream portfolio assignment? I think putting your work next to other comic style type artists going in the direction you’d like to go might help you see what you’re missing in your style.
Right now the idea is so fun and I also love pascal’s work, so I totally know what you’re going for. One thing that he does that is so powerful is choose color and light that really enhances the mood and story telling. I’m not sure if you would do that in your style? I think I’d want to look at similar artists styles that inspire you and see how they handle it.
If you wanted a daytime piece, I think you need to fade back the background or use lighter lines. Right now it is really hard to distinguish the characters from what’s behind them
One tip is to look at your piece really small to see if you can still get the basic idea of what’s happening, if I do that on your piece it’s very difficult to understand, having a stronger value pattern or groupings will really help with that!
Hopefully that made sense !
@carlianne Thank you for your support and constructive criticism. I think I have been working on this piece and trying to figure out the best way to make this image amazing . I have pascals message and overall feel in this image but I feel like I don't have the skill to pull it off and it's making me very frustrated. I know what you are saying about me going and looking at other's work, which I don't mind.
I have just recently passed the stage in my artwork where I figured out that I don't know squat when it comes to being an illustration master :(. I'm not not as good as I thought but that does not mean that I am just going to give up either. I'm just overwhelmed with all the work I need to do and the rest of the aspects of my life that demand my time. I WANT TO BE AN ILLUSTRATOR SO MUCH. I just want that wow factor you know? Sorry for the rant.
@Kori-Jensen I’m so sorry if my critique came off harsh! It seemed like you were feeling frustrated with your style so I was trying to help there. I love the emotion you’ve communicated with your characters and the story and I think some simple edits like adjusting the background will be a minor change but make a big impact!
Also re: the rant ️ whew - I totally understand! Here’s what I do when I feel the way you’re feeling right now. Take a minute, deep breath and realize if I’m feeling frustrated and uncomfortable it sucks! BUT it means I’m learning, I’m on the road to getting better. Because usually when I don’t feel that way I’m also not pushing myself to grow either. So it’s okay to feel growing pains.
Next (especially with feeling overwhelmed) I try to look at all of my work as a whole and pick ONE thing to work on. I Try to pick the thing that I’m the worst at, the thing that needs the most improvement. And I focus on that. If for you, that was making sure to include story telling in your pieces, YOU NAILED IT. Compared to many pieces in your portfolio this piece creates an emotional impact and tells a very sweet story. Keep working on that until you feel like you’re able to do that consistently and feel you’ve had good improvement - until it’s no longer your worst thing, then pick the next “worst” thing. Whatever frustrates you the most. Do it one at a time, focus on the gains you’re having in the area you’re trying to improve (it’s okay if you suddenly suck at all the stuff you thought you knew we’ll before, that can happen as you work through the confusion of the new thing you’re learning so don’t get distracted) and feel proud of yourself for how you improve from day to day, week month etc.
@carlianne Okay! May I say that I am so glad that I ranted in your direction because that was exactly what I needed to hear! I am working from what seems to me about ground zero and your advice was spot on. I want to be able to have others get an emotional reaction to my work. Much like how 3 point perspective gang say " make an impact with your work". I need to start building even if it is from ground zero. even if it's little by little and I think that making my pictures tell a story is the perfect place to start. it's what I need to work on.
Thank you so much for your advice! x a billion
@Kori-Jensen I’m so happy it was helpful!! ️️