Feedback on storyboard thumbnails

robgale

Hey folks! I've been working on a set of storyboards for a short animated film and I've gotten to the rough thumbnails stage. I would love some feedback.

These are rough thumbnails, so I'm not thinking too much yet about any composition details yet, mostly I just want to know if anything is confusing or unclear in terms of the storytelling.

If anyone has any general storyboarding tips, that would be helpful as well.

Thanks!

ABCre8ive

Hey Rob - enjoyed flipping through that. Your story was easy to follow, interesting and had plenty of tension to keep me glued.

As far as story goes, I don't quite understand what genre this is. Zombie? If so, how can Burton talk? And how did they become zombies?

Or is it a standard Western? If so, how can the dead men pull him down?

Other questions - Why did Reynolds do it? Why did he tie gold to his chest? Why is he running away from Burton (who seems physically unthreatening)? How/when did the horse turned around on the narrow path? And why did Reynolds get off his horse?

My favorite part was Page 2. That's when the tension really got good. Thanks for sharing.

robgale

@ABCre8ive This is awesome feedback! Just all the questions you have makes me realize how much I have it in my head, but what's not being conveyed. Exactly what I was hoping for, thank you!

Genre: I'm trying to do something along the lines of the old Twilight Zone TV show, so it's like a little morality tale set in the old west. So not Zombie.

The Story: The basic idea is that Reynolds killed his buddies to take all the gold for himself and they've come back to get their revenge. I wanted there to be a kind of "twist" where his greed and paranoia ends up sowing the seeds of his own demise. Obviously his motivation is not coming across here. Classic example of trying to cram my characters into a plot I've "oh so cleverly" devised!

Great stuff for me to chew on, I might have to go back to the script, but better to catch this kind of thing in the thumbnails than after having spent ages designing everything out.

Thanks again!