Steampunk Time-Traveller Critique

[Katherine]

Hi folks,

I discovered SVS a couple of days ago and am unreasonably excited. I feel like I've found my interwebs soul-mate (that's not a thing but maybe it should be). I've binge-watched all of the 3rd Thu critiques and can't wait to subscribe - just waiting until I have the time for the learning.

Anyhoo, I would love any feedback on this sketch. This is some client work for a unisex children's clothing line, ages 2-8. It's to be printed on an over-sized pocket of a culotte. The brief was "steampunk time-traveller".

[bobbyfasel]

This is a really fun piece so far! I enjoy a lot of the shape work going on, specifically in the eyes and the bends of the instrument.
I'm really enjoying the angularity of all of that. It could be fun to see it introduced further throughout the piece!

I think my biggest critique right now would be to get that silhouette reading more clearly. Maybe the creature is holding these instruments above their head for a better read of their action? There are a lot of options to play around with

I'm very excited to see where this goes!

[Sarah LuAnn]

Super cute! I really love the steampunk aesthetic, so I had to take a look at this one :-). Usually simplification is good, but I feel like part of the whole steampunk look is complexity--lots of gears and levers and layers and parts. I think the key is a clear silhouette, with all the little details within it. I feel like you have a start on that here, but I feel like pushing it a bit further with more bits and pieces would really nail the "steampunk" part of your prompt. Maybe a helmet or hat or goggles, which are a must for any steampunk costume. It might obscure your cute creatures eyes... you just have to weigh what is most important to you I guess. Me, I love steampunk so my first reaction is automatically, "MAKE IT MORE STEAMPUNK!!"

[Leontine]

Supercute! your on to something really nice here! I agree with @Sarah-LuAnn more steampunk, like goggles, and a nice hat will complete it even more!

[Dulcie]

Welcome @Katherine! I know how you feel, I was so excited when I found SVS (a couple of months ago now) and it feels like just the right place because we are all into similar things, and all trying to make our journey towards better art And it's so much better when you can share and chat about it!

Your sketch is really cute, I agree with @Sarah-LuAnn that pushing the steampunk side would be better. I like the idea of hat and/or goggles, another idea would be to give him/her a monocle? That way you could keep the big cute eyes and even the lens effect could make one eye bigger, might make it look more quirky too? Also I think, as the brief specifically mentioned time-traveller then having some sort of timepiece would be good - clocks are such a steampunk thing, would really help fulfil the brief. Perhaps he could have a pocket watch which is connected to the trumpet thing, and the trumpet thing connected to the seat thing? (that way emphasise the time aspect and make it look like a time machine)

Also..thinking again about the hat idea, how about a top hat? - that's a common one, and often with steampunk hats they have goggles perched on the rim which again wouldn't obscure the cute eyes. Looking forward to see how this develops!

[Katherine]

@bobbyfasel Thanks Bobby. I'm going to do another version today with a clearer silhouette. I think I'll try incorporating more angularity too. Thanks again

[Katherine]

@Sarah-LuAnn Thanks Sarah. Definitely going to take on board your comments about complexity and amplifying the steampunk. At first I didn't want to overdo the steampunk because I didn't want to create something clichéd. But I think adding in a bit of extra steampunk spice at this stage won't compromise the originality.

[Katherine]

Thanks @Leontine!

@Dulcie I love the idea of the monocle with one big eye! Definitely going to do that. I think you're right about the clockface. I'm doing 9 different illustrations within this theme and felt like trying something other than a clock face. I was clocked out. Should probably stop trying to be clever and keep it simple though.

[DanetteDraws]

Hi @Katherine, my fellow CBA'er

How I do love your creatures! That's so awesome that it'll be printed on children's clothing. You'll have to share a photo of the final culotte. Not to mention WIP that is

BTW - the eyes looking downwards and not straight at the viewer is definitely softer and less confrontational!

[Katherine]

@DanetteDraws Well hullo there Danette! Fancy meeting you here Thanks for the tip about the gaze. I'll keep that in mind for the re-draw. Love your Golden Ticket entries, by the way. Especially Hallow Animaux.

[admin]

@Sarah-LuAnn I second this Sarah - great observations...

[DanetteDraws]

Thanks so much @Katherine! And best of luck to you with the golden ticket - ahhhhh I'm on pins and needles until the 30th!