Mouse journey feedback
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@Blitz55 thank you! And I’d love to see yours as well
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Ok I don’t know why I added this character I thought this one needed something else but I didn’t know what then this popped into my head. But it doesn’t add to the story in any way I could change the mouses eye to be looking that direction, but I could just take the birb off entirely. What do you guys think?
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@Asyas_illos I think if you made the mouse noticing the bird this could work really well! Right now the bird is a little distracting because I'm not really sure why he's there. But when I imagine the mouse looking at the bird I suddenly want to know more! The story gets more interesting to me.
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@Asyas_illos I would save the bird part for a different scene. Maybe during a rain shower.
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@Asyas_illos If you squint or make the picture small the mouse blends in with the background a bit, which is probably why the blue bird sticks out.
Could the mouse have something on him that is a contrasting color?
I don’t know what the story is but if it would fit thematically, maybe add an element of danger by having a snake off to the side or a predatory bird silhouette in the sky?
Do bugs or animals live in “mushroom land” and the mouse is passing by? -
@kayleenartlover I think you’re right I’ll probably use it in another scene
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@Asyas_illos I do like the bird (or another background character if you want to switch it out). I think that the mouse doesn't need to be looking at it, but you could add a smaller, less prominent background into the spread, that's looking at and responding to the bird. That'd be a fun way to have the world feel more lived in, and still have the mouse focused on their journey.
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@ajillustrates thanks for the feedback, I have since relocated the bird to another scene, but I still would like to build up more of a lived in world, as you suggested. I will be brainstorming some more characters!
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@Asyas_illos I think since the bird isn’t relevant to the story it just feel a a bit distracting. I think normally it’s good to have a secondary story going on in an image but in this case since the primary story isn’t super complicated it may not work here
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I think using colors from the previous pages is a great way to keep it all connected! Looking forward to seeing more
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@Griffin-McPherson thanks yep I moved the bird saving him for another. In accordance with your portfolio questions I’m looking to make mine more cohesive as a whole including colors.
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Some spreads I’ve started the second I did a while back but wasn’t sure where to go with it, but it seems to fit in perfectly with this
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How it’s setting up as a sequence, I don’t know why I chose this canvas size but I do love it
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Made some changes to this one, still haven’t thought of what characters to add though.
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Needed some spot illos to go with the story. Still working on this, thought it should start at home
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@Asyas_illos I don't have much to add except these are great so far. Really cool shapes and colors. I also like the horizontal format, looks like a story playing out in a movie. Maybe a frame with some character interaction would be good. Although I like how the mouse is just in their little world, reacting to the environment.
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@tomparsonsart yes, I agree I need some more characters in there, thanks!
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Ok just wrapped this one up
