Octopus Bath WIP

  • Hi everyone! I've lurked on the forum for last several months but this is my first time posting a sketch and looking for help. This is my idea for the February octopus contest theme. The girl is trying to hide the octopus in the bath without the rest of the family knowing. I know that if the basic drawing has flaws the final picture will be flawed and I need help to iron out the kinks early.

    I'm afraid of it being too busy and noisy but maybe some that fear can be tackled with the values. I'm also not sure if the perspective of the background looks right with the girl and octopus. I also tried to avoid tangents but l may have let some slip. Also, the line work won't be as thick for the final. I appreciate your thoughts!

    0_1518627650558_Octopus Sketch.jpg

  • i think its a great start, it doesn't feel to busy to me.

  • looking really good to me!

  • Thanks @Chip-Valecek and @bnewman for the feedback! I started doing a few color studies with it and noticed a few tangents I need to clean up with the Octopus arms that are not so obvious in the sketch.

  • Looking good! The interaction between the girl and the octopus is great and I feel that the boy at the door pulls the attention away slightly. If it was me I would probably add another shower curtain on the left to create more of a SURPRISE moment when the girl opens the curtain. Also i'm not so sure as to whether the octopus is attacking her or in shock. It seems as though he is pulling her closer towards him, but the look on his face seems to be more of a "this is a private moment and I didn't expect someone to walk in on me".

    EDIT: I completely missed the part in your description where you mentioned that she is trying to hide the octopus so ignore most of my comments! In that case maybe a shower curtain on the left wouldnt work, but if the story allows it, not having the brother at the door would create more tension and maybe even add in an approaching shadow. I will slap myself on the wrist for not reading carefully!

  • @jon-anderson Such a good idea and start, Jon. I like the action of this composition. I think the idea of the girl trying to hide the octopus could be made more clear. Right now, she seems to be struggling more than concealing. And her little brother's expression pulls my eye a bit too much from the main action.

    Some ideas:
    I like Gary's idea of adding another shower curtain on the left side.
    The girl could be trying to keep the door from opening all the way by shoving her foot out against it as it's starting to open.
    Her little brother could still be behind the door, or just pausing outside the bathroom as he hears some commotion but has not seen the octopus yet.
    She could be turning slightly towards the door as it's opening and trying to pull the curtain closed.

    Hope this helps. Looking forward to see your final illo.

    Johanna Kim

  • Thank you @Gary-Wilkinson and @Johanna-Kim for taking the time to offer your input. I'm going to work on that left side to try and ease the distraction a bit and narrow down on the focal point more.

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