Help Me Complete This 4 my Portfolio
Here is a illustration I have sat on for a while partially finished and decided to take it up again tonight. I am planning on having a portfolio online by August, God willing!
I really like this one but would like some help refining it and having others see fixes I don't.
aska last edited by
@Tyson-Ranes Hello, Iam probably too little experienced to give you advice, but I can tell you my first impressions. Sorry, if I make a stupid comment tho
My first impression was "Wow" and then I noticed a few bits.
- Iam not quite sure what is burning in the back. Iam guessing its a house, but at first it looked to me like a ship. Probably because of the big cross. Iam not sure of the color of the smoke. Too brown?
- background seemed to be not finished, its too blurred and doesn't fit fore and middle grounds.
- I like the way foreground is finished. However I think its a bit too dark or missing some highlights (eg. woman's face)
- Middleground looks ok.
- Iam not sure of the story. Is that their house that they abandoned and now they stopped to look at it for the last time? If yes, then women's pose is cool. However man's eyes look a bit weird. Perhaps he could look at the woman? Concerning the horse, he just looks borred Perhaps he could look down or smth.
I hope you will find anything useful in my comments. Iam looking forward to seeing further versions
MissMarck last edited by
I have a quick question: are they leaving the burning house, or approaching it?
They look like they're going towards the house, which (since they aren't rushing) doesn't create a clear narrative.
If they're leaving the house, then they should probably be facing the other way, maybe looking over their shoulders. Then it would be clear that they've lost their home, and they're on a journey.
I love love LOVE the way you painted the figures! It's so stylized but so believable! I think you could probably put a bit more of that into the burning house. I think the blurriness helps make it feel distant, but I think it could use just a bit more crispness.
I really love the composition and colors of this piece! I'm sure it'll be a phenomenal addition to your portfolio!
@MissMarck They are leaving their house. The wife is looking back and the husband looking suspiciously ahead as they pause on the trail. Thank you for the help, I can see problems now with "the home" and the "clear narrative" where as before I had looked at it so long while refining I couldn't see what you and @aska pointed out. I think I know how I am going to attack the house to refine it but as far as the narrative not sure how to address without making major changes, I might change where the horses eyes are looking. (really not quite sure) Thank you @aska & @MissMarck for the help and kind words! Hopefully won't be to long before a repost of edits.
Tannie Smith last edited by
great job! Everybody else pretty much covered what I would say. I would love to see the updated version. You can do it!
Pam Boutilier last edited by
I'm a total noob here so I don't know if I should be commenting and I hope that I'm not overstepping - but this is such a gorgeous image with so much mood to it I wanted to chime in!
The sunset is competing with the fire for my attention - could you dampen the sun or get away with a more subtle just-post-sunset glow in the sky to increase emphasis on the fire?
Maybe stronger/sharper contrast on the lady's face (the man's and horse's expressions are so clear, I find it harder to see her features - unless that was your intention).
I think if the horse's body was turned more to the left it would read better that they are leaving (I first thought they'd just come over the hill and paused, seeing the house burning). Of course that throws off your reins and other things so maybe not as easy a change to make.
@Tyson-Ranes quick house edit