Critique request: kids in canoe chasing turtles
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Hi Friends,
When you have a moment, I would appreciate another set of eyes on this drawing as I redraw my portfolio piece by piece. I feel like I've stared at it took long and tightened it too quickly, so I'm posting it as a way to put on the brakes.
My concerns: Does the story seem believable? Do you feel any emotional connection with the characters? Are the character's poses and boat position logical?
Now that I am about to post this, I am thinking I should also try a different camera angle, so that will come next.
Thank you for your thoughts!
edited to add: slightly different angle of the canoe, plus a couple other details and fixes. It's interesting, whenever I am getting ready to post something I think is done, I catch something that needs to be fixed.
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@jenn I really like the changes to the canoe you made it definitely feels more, dramatic now. And does nice things for the composition.
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OK working on color, being deliberate and trying to establish a workflow for the palette. I think the colors work in general, but I'm still feeling the pull toward conventionality, you know what I mean? So the yellow sky... should it just be blue? I tried it but then the whole thing went flat. Both pix are here for comparison. I prob need to sleep on it...
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@jenn Ya, I feel like the yellow sky seems to add more depth than the blue one, too. It also lends the feel of late afternoon light to me. If you want to go with the blue, maybe using a different shade than the one of the water might give it more depth?
I love how you changed the angle of the canoe up- definitely feels more dynamic. And I do connect with the characters, because of their expressions and poses- including that glare the turtle's giving the boy in front. They make me want to know the rest of the story!Portfolio: www.nickydrewillustration.com
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@NickyDrew thanks for taking the time to look and express your thoughtful feedback. I always feel self-conscious when pushing the boundaries of color and character expressions, so your words are validating.
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Hello, thank you for sharing your work!
I think my main issue is that it is not clear what is the emotion of the kid in front and his intent. Why do they chase turtles? Why do they need to disturb them and pick them up? What do they plan to do to them?
Here is what I perceive. The kid in front looks selfish, impatient and reckless as he put in danger the other kid in his haste; and put his own knee outside the boat. Furthermore, his facial expression is very confusing, and the turtles seems to flee in fear. All these makes me think that the boy is possibly evil/dangerous. It makes me think that his intent is not going to be nice.
My suggestion would be to clarify the facial expression and the boy's intention by adding hints as to what they will do to the turtles (e.g. props in the boat).
Find me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nodragem/
Portfolio: https://www.nodragemillustration.com -
@jenn No problem! I'm learning to push the boundaries of my work too.
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@Geoffrey-Mégardon thank you for your detailed feedback and suggestions. I think your interpretation is spot-on. I did fear that I made the front character look too evil, whereas I really wanted him to be more selfish and impulsive (rather than mean). The character I have in mind really is just excited and doesn't know how to control himself. I will work on a variation to try and capture that concept a little more accurately.
