HELP! TOGETHER WIP | 😧 | Last Minute Feedback
miranda-hoover last edited by miranda-hoover
**"Bedtime Stories for Monsters Big and Small"
At the very last minute, I decided to scrap my original idea and start from scratch. I hesitated so long because I felt like my original idea had a better story, but I felt far more motivated to draw this one.
It's too late to make any major changes since this is due the 9th--but I would love some fresh sets of eyes--especially in these areas:
- the kids's anatomy (at this point, idk if the girl is cozy, or missing part of her spine)
- the mess (I tried to group the toys, but don't know if I did it too much or not enough)
- I'm also not totally sold on the yeti's design yet.
Going forward: My plan is to use color to emphasize the children and de-emphasize the toys/clutter (probably purples around the edges, blues outside the window, and yellows around the kids). BTW: the boy's giant book will say: "Bedtime Stories for Monsters Big and Small"
Any thoughts are much appreciated! Draw-overs are also welcome.
@miranda-hoover I love the design and the feel of the piece. It is drawn so sweetly and I would read the story that goes with it to my little one.
I think the toy clutter in the piece is just right and the choice of the way the toys are grouped is helpful but not too “posed”. The yeti is pretty cute too.
The only thing my eye keys in on is the little girl. I think she does look cozy and very snuggled in and not at all rigid. But maybe her left leg looks a little long or too far forward as though her hips are especially wide. Does that make sense? If the hips were a little closer together then the leg would not extend as far. Maybe it might help if her left leg crossed over or under her right. Just my 2 cents. But I love this piece. I can’t wait to see the color!
carolinebautista last edited by
I think this looks great. The only thing I would change is moving the yeti to the lower left so that the boy's line of vision hits the yeti's face. It looks good this way, but it seems like the boy would have to look straight up, and then maybe need a pillow he's leaning on in order to do that.
@JennyJones Thank you! That is so nice to hear
I totally see what you mean; it looks like her upper leg is super long or something. Thanks for pointing it out!
@carolinebautista Thank you!
Good call! I shifted the kids to the left a bit, which probably added to the problem. I'll try to make some adjustments to the boy and the yeti to make that work better. Thanks for pointing it out!
xin li last edited by
Cute character design :-), love this piece so far.
Based on your title, I am thinking aloud:
- Why the Yeti is outside, and the kid reading is inside the house?
- Is the unicorn the yeti holding a toy? Would it work if the Yeti holds a doll? and the little girl holds a toy yeti, sleeping?
- What is the kid reading? what story would make the Yeti travel far to come to hear the story?
- How does the kid feel when he saw Yeti?
frankiiij last edited by
First of al I would like to say I absolutely love your work. The under tone of joy the is used as a medium is inspiring.
Second I am far from critiquing as I am am still learning. So I can really only share what I have learned and apply it to your questions.
In the character design course they give us the tool to proportion (large-medium-small) or some variation of that.
(Purple) In your masterpiece I see 3 segments. The toys (s), the children and the seating area to the first seal (m), and the sleeping giant (l). You could shrink the large portion a bit. This could patternize the size increments and answers @carolinebautista idea of moving the yeti to the lower left.
(Orange) The judges talk a lot about the three segments when grouping items. Same with the s-m-l but also creating different gap sizes. So moving the five items over May just do the job.
(Red) This is how I see the skeleton of the little girl. I’m think maybe making her arms longer, legs short, and/or foreshortening on the closest leg.
I love the writing on the wall and the window and drawer open.
I did have one question. I noticed the yeti is holding a unicorn and the girl is dressed as a unicorn. I read that she holds onto her yeti because it reminds her of him and he is at peace when he reads to her. I think my interpretation is off and I apologize. I was wondering what your connection is here?
Here are some of my thoughts: I wonder if him dressed as a yeti would create a connection between the stuffed animal and the yeti outside that would diminish the barrier of the window by making him mor imaginary. Like how the boy sees himself with his sister. Kind of like the little girl loves her brother (snuggles stuffed animal) and the brother sees it comforting being a comporting bedtime teller (imagining himself carding for his sister while he reads a bedtime story). Sorry so long I’m just in love with many aspects of this piece.
Really great job. I’m sure what ever you d o with it will be awesome because for me it is already awesome! Thank you for sharing!
@xin-li and @dafoota
Thank you both for your feedback I really appreciate the thought both of you put into your comments. Fortunately, I was able to include some of your suggestions, so THANK YOU! Now the only thing left for me to do is color and a bit of clean up.
frankiiij last edited by
@miranda-hoover No worries. Like I said i loved it from the start. I pray it works out to where you want it.