I know this is really stylized, but here are some remarks. When doing portrait focus should usually be on persons eyes. the shoulder pads are distracting. Put details where you want viewer to look at i dont udnerstand the blue light on neck, it does not accomplish anything. ¨ Dont draw out every hair, try to find masses in there. For example watch Prokos tutorial on hair. I also tried to do quick overdraw, tried to pop out the face more, so I dakened the background and some features on the face. I dont know if its the direction you want to go, its just a suggestion.