Entry for May's promt "storm." Critiques please!
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Hi everyone!!
I need help deciding which one of these to submit for the May critique arena, and then would love advice on what I could've done better! I made the first piece and was unsatisfied. With my use of the ink and watercolor, the composition, posing, everything. So I did the second, In Gouache, with everything being slightly different. But I still don't like it
Can't quite identify whats wrong though.
Please tell me which one you like best, and what you think I could've done differently!
(Next time I'll try to ask for help before the piece is finished and I have time to change things) -
@Kara_Bazley I have a lot of thoughts about this but can't offer too much since I'm a judge for the contest, but overall the main problem (in my opinion) is that the threat of the storm is set in a way that doesn't seem too dangerous for the characters in the photo. i.e. The risk for the characters right now isn't nearly enough. The storm is off in the distance a ways, the clouds are overall very friendly and non threatening. The only real thing we have to go on is that the characters are pointing and look mildly concerned. The right half of the image is doing all the work and the left half of the image is just decoration at this point. So in a nutshell, your staging and design is what is holding this piece back. Hope that helps some. : )
SVS Faculty Instructor
www.leewhiteillustration.com -
@Kara_Bazley One thing I noticed is the direction of the rain makes me feel like this storm isn't a threat that is coming, but one that passed and is blowing away but the people didn't experience it (not soaking wet), and they won't experience it.They are just looking at it from a distance. Like what @Lee-White said about the distance. I do like the idea of it though. If you are out hiking and you see a storm rolling in... Maybe you could create a feeling of urgency by a character seeking shelter, putting on more layers like a rain coat, or really not being prepared and getting stuck in the rain with no coat? Anyway, I enjoy looking at your work! I like the second one out of the two best.
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@Lee-White Wow I appreciate your critique! I can see what you're talking about, in terms of the lack of a real threat in my concept, as well as the faulty design and composition. I learned from this. Thanks so much, Lee White!
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@Frogpunzel Mm you're right! I didn't actually think about the direction of the rain, and how that stopped it from looking like an incoming threat. I appreciate your critique, and those were all great suggestions. Thanks!
