Wow, you all are amazing! Thanks SO much, for the suggestions, taking the time to find reference images, and for the redraw. I'll take it all into consideration and have another go when I get the chance (busy work week ahead). It's a little discouraging to struggle so much over one picture, but it's been a good learning experience, too.
Also, just for kicks, I tried doing three thumbnails last night in all ink - about 90% black with white highlights. Everything looked great except for Gollum. Anytime I shadowed him, he just blended into the background.