Hi, same here; love the idea, spirit and atmosphere, thumbs up! Story-wise I'd prefer the first composition to the second one, because of the "sneaking up" vs "sneaking down", i.e. he's sneaking up on her, but it isn't threatening, more curious, wondering, maybe a little afraid, but mostly curious, while sneaking down gives me a more prohibitive, "threat looming" feel and I prefer the first :p
One thing about the first that caught my eye in the first glance was the stark contrast of the chandelier over the boy. Value-wise it's just as strong as the contrast of the boy's head-to-face-to-candle-light, so the eye jumps between the two and detracts from the main actor. Perhaps you don't need the chandelier lit up, seeing that he has a candle anyhow, or you could put those old glass blobby glass-thingies around them that dim them and maybe darken the whole area towards the ceiling in the staircase. But really like the story, character design and feeling in that image!!