These are really great to do as studies. So there are a few things, if its just a study for the lighting I would recommend loosening up, a portrait painted is tough so if your too concerned with likeness and details it can take away from what your studying.
Don't be to concerned with likeness, squint as much as possible and just find shapes of colour and try to match it if you get me. Sometimes our brains play tricks on us and fill in what we think we should see. We think the whites of eyes are white but they very rarely are actually white, they're in shadow and pick up the ambient light. So in the screen shot reference they're grey but a warm grey from the low ambient light.
The light source is a lot brighter in tone in the reference image. Overall i think your image is a bit more saturated than the reference.
I hope this helps. These are a great way to practice lighting, especially scenes with great cinematography and lighting. You don't need to get hung up on details though my advice would be to stay loose.