I REALLY like the change to the second composition. I think it puts emphasis on the more interesting parts of your idea (for me at least) and gives more of a reason to stop and look at the image.
Cakes more appetizing.
For food commercials, agencies spend a lot of time trying to make the food look extremely appealing. There's more emphasis put on how the consumer wants the food to feel than on how the food actually is. So you get commercials about fruit and veggies with moisture and juice splashing everywhere showing how fresh and juicy everything is. And burger commercials showing moisture rolling from the lettuce to the sauce to the meat. I think the same idea can be applied here as well. Usually stores have window items in spot lights. One approach is to focus on an 'off-screen' spotlight's effect on the food. If the frosting top layer on the cakes is of the traditional creamy variety (not sugar dusted or chocolate shell), the cakes will probably give off a reflective shine. The shine will give you a look at the texture of the cake and a look at how the frosting was spread on the cake. All of this helps present an idea of what the cake will taste like and less an idea of how it actually tastes.
Something that sticks out to me is how the glass is represented. The black outline around the boy contrasts and takes away from the outlines of the cakes. The bright colors also take away from the colors of the cake. These present the image as if there's no glass at all. We know that glass likes to act as a mirror. So one way to show that there's glass between the cake and boy is add a layer of the color closest to us - the yellow. This will downplay the colors and black lines on the boy and give the idea that the glass is acting as a mirror.
There's also the boy himself. He's outside in the dark next to a lit window. I think to further convince the viewer that the boy's outside (besides the reflective glass), it can help to play up the light/shadow from the shop on his clothing. The outside color can be used for the shadow to present him as part of the environment outside the shop.
This is all just how I would approach the situation. Really like the designs of the characters (the kid and the cakes ). And, as said before, I LOVE the new composition.
(sketch over to illustrate points)