Feedback for illustration in progress? Thank you!

[Robyn]

Hello everyone!

I have an illustration I have been working on. Here's the finalized line sketch. Wondering if I can get your first impressions before moving forward? (PS- First post here. Been a big fan of the podcast, so joined the forums. Nice to meet you!)

As far as story, I was going for a man and a dog leaving their house for a walk on a rainy day. The man urges the dog on. But the dog is hesitant despite wearing booties and a raincoat. The ocean is the dog's imagination and how he sees this rainy day. The steps of the house fade into becoming the ocean shore.

This Gouache study actually came first. After finishing it, I decided to refine it into an illustration.

Some more studies:

(Excuse the weird looking dog anatomy/ weird looking coat pattern)

So yeah the line drawing seems simple but it took me sooo long to get to that point lol.

I would say this is my first self-directed illustration. I've been following Chris Hong's process she shows in her video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QscDMni8LM4

I'm excited to move onto the color comps and value comps after finalizing the line drawing.

Thank you so much for checking out my post!

[Neha Rawat]

Hi @Robyn ! Glad to see your first post! Nice to meet you too!
The idea behind your piece is nice and it's a good attempt, but I'm not sure if the story is coming through.
If I didn't read your story, it would seem as if the man is asking his dog to take a walk into the ocean with him. I think the main element is the point of view. Right now, the viewer would relate themselves more with the man than with the dog since we're at the same eye level as the man. If you want to view to see the picture from the dog's point of view, you may try lowering the camera to the dog's level. The dog could be looking out into the ocean and only see the man's legs and stretched out hand.
Also, with no supporting text in the illustration, it's tricky to show that the ocean is the dog's imagination and not a real ocean. In that case, you may have to exaggerate the imagination so that it feels unbelievable.
This is JUST for an example to brainstorm storytelling abilities and get the ball rolling, not necessarily to be drawn but you can pick elements from it - it's raining and big waves are crashing buildings/trees. The man walking calming into the ocean with a reassuring smile on his face and trying to get the dog to follow him. Maybe in the background, we can see other people walking their dogs on the ocean water and they seem completely normal.
I really hope you work on this further! The last painting is nice on its own too Just the dog being afraid of water in his little red booties and raincoat. It all depends on what story you're trying to tell Good luck!

[Robyn]

Thanks @Neha-Rawat for your really generous reply! Nice to meet you too.
Considering your feedback, I'm going to stick with the original "normal" background. I guess it was naive of me, but I thought if I plopped an ocean there it would read as a more fantastical story. But I'm happy with a slice-of-life story where a man tries to take his dog out for a walk on a rainy day.
Thank you so much again for taking the time to review my work and write such a thoughtful response.