Portfolio Piece- critiques wanted please

jdubz

Others already mentioned the horizon line - good catch there.

I think in terms of pure lineart from a composition standpoint is I look at which lines are thick and which ones are thin. For example, the TV, the daughters face, the little girl's head and dad's shirt have some of the thicker lines. You could make adjustments to give the focal point thicker linework to give it more emphasis and bring down the lines that are less important.

Nyrryl Cadiz

@jdubz hi! Thanks for the input but I won’t really keep the line work when I reach the painting stage. So I’m not really concerned about their weight. Again, thanks for the help.

LauraA

Would it help you do to a quick value study? Value can do a lot to tame a chaotic composition!

Nyrryl Cadiz

@ajillustrates @Braden-Hallett i totally get what you mean. I always felt there was something wrong with the perspective. Thanks for helping me spot it. I’m working on a new version and I’ll be posting it shortly. Once again, thank you for the critique.

Nyrryl Cadiz

@LauraA Thanks but i’m actually changing the whole thing tho. I just feel that this version’s composition is not working.

Nyrryl Cadiz

@theprairiefox No worries. I should have been more specific on which element I wanted critique on. And you’re totally right. The composition is a mess. There’s no clear visual hierarchy for the eye to follow. I’m changing the composition and for sure, simplifying it for an easier read. Thank you so much for the critique.

Nyrryl Cadiz

Hi! So, here’s my new sketch. I didn’t like how so many characters were crammed in such a tiny shot in the first version. They were so close to each other that their was no clear visual heirarchy aside from the girl. Hopefully, the depth and the characters’ positioning in this one will guide the viewer’s eyes for an easy read.

I also like how I can show more of the room in this one compared to slightly claustrophobic feel of the initial sketch. I also plan to set this illustration on a lazy Sunday morning so the added space will definitely add to the mood. As for what they’re watching, I’m not really sure. Maybe it’s a funny commercial or the kid’s favorite cartoon. It’s up to the viewers to guess. Lol

Anyway, I think I fixed the perspective especially on the coffee table. I see a few discrepancies on the counter and bay window but they’re an easy fix. If you spot any other perspective errors or any mistakes in general, feel free to let me know. Also if you have any suggestions, let me know too. I’d love to hear them out. Thanks!

LauraA

@Nyrryl-Cadiz Well, they definitely look a lot more refreshed and like they're in a better mood! It's easier on the eyes. But it depends on what you were going for--the other one fit the mood for too much chaos and frazzled nerves!

Nyrryl Cadiz

@LauraA yeah I had a change of heart. I realized that I wanted a lighter mood so I changed it.

KaraDaniel

@Nyrryl-Cadiz i like the changes you've made. interested to see it in color!

BichonBistro

@Nyrryl-Cadiz I am trying to learn from this illustration--can you share a sketch that shows your horizon and vanishing points?