Neha Rawat last edited by
@Braden-Hallett Wow! Brilliant work! I love love LOVE how you've documented all your research and practice. Thank you so much for that!
I really love the coolness of the sky with the warmth of the field and the characters and the super dynamic poses.
I'd like to share a few thoughts (these are some nitty gritties because with a wonderful piece like this, that's all you can find!)
- The angle at which the hat is flying based on the distance from the kid doesn't seem realistic. If it has flown of the kids head, it would be rotated about 120 degrees clockwise (almost upturned)
- I'm not sure what the shadow is of the rabbits chin at bottom left but it's creating an assumed tangent line along the fence and is a little distracting.
- And I agree with @KathrynAdebayo about the eye being drawn to the spot where the wing, hill and fence touch. Unless that's intentional, I feel it would be nicer to have some space around the tip of the wing.
Wonderful piece! Your work is an inspiration!
Braden, I'm really liking your new color schemes! That was one of your goals this month, right? I think you've met it!
Also, I really like the upward movement of the mouse vs. the downward movement of the wings.
I also agree with what Neha says. It's small stuff, but some of it seems pretty easy to fix. My main question when I first saw this image last night, though, was, "Oh my! Is that hawk going to wreck and take out the fence?" Geometrically (compositionally) it's elegant, but it has me feeling uneasy and so it may be a distraction. I love that the hawk is so large and I can just hear the whooshing of the wings, but I wonder what would happen if they were just enough smaller not to look like they are about to trip him up? (I wouldn't move him any higher, though.)
Great work, as always!
@KathrynAdebayo Thanks I'm glad you're enjoying it. I'm havin' a good time with this so far.
That cluster of similar values and tangents in the fence/wing/hill area is definitely going to be a point of concern! But I think I've got an idea of how to solve it
Thanks for the feedback!
@Neha-Rawat Thanks! I hadn't noticed the implied tangent with the rabbit chin shadow. It's totally where that fence would be running behind it.
Thanks for the feedback I love the nitty gritty stuff. It always gives me something to think about for next time (There's some stuff I ain't fixin at this stage, lol )
@LauraA Iiiiiiiinteresting! There may be a way I can subtly lower the fence just a wee bit.
Thanks for the feedback
JoannaH last edited by
@Braden-Hallett I like how you lowered the fence. It looks great and now the wings don't look like they're brushing up against it.
@Braden-Hallett Bravo! Now it looks like the hawk calculated just right.
theprairiefox last edited by
@Braden-Hallett I just had a thought as I was looking at this. I was thinking about where everyone is looking and they are leading you off the page (except the rabbit who is helping to bring you back in.) And I think the movement is ok, but in a book you usually want the reader to be moving off the page to right?
When you are done, you might want to consider flipping the image?
I think it kind of feels better...
@theprairiefox I'll absolutely consider it! Though I'm fine with the hawk reading first I'll keep it in the back of my mind as I carry on
Work continues! I get to do a bit more work messing up the lines on the mouse and the hawk, and then spoon some colour around, but done very soon!
I'm tentatively calling this one done. If anyone can think of any tweaks or small changes to be made at this point it would be much appreciated