3rd Thursday for critiques, please!

  • December 3rd Thursday 4.jpg Here is mine so far, I would love some input, thanks!!

  • SVS Team SVS OG

    I feel the perspective of the house is off. Maybe add some pig prints on the roof from where they stepped as well as sleigh tracks?

  • @Chip-Valecek thanks, I didn't think of that!

  • Hi Thrace, Its a lovely piece! you get better with every assignment! The piglets are just so adorable! May I have a view small suggestions? The boy is way to far in the corner, which distracts. I would give him some more attention, maybe a bit more light? The perspective of the house looks a bit strange. the illustration may be better readable when its just straight. Just see if this is of any help, its already a great piece! Looking forward to this months competition.

  • @Leontine Thanks for your advice! I will work on the perspective!!

  • SVS OG

    Another beautiful sky! - this painting looks good - each one i see from you seems better and better - if i was going to give feedback the first thing i would do is ask if the perspective is a design choice - the perspective seems distorted but possibly on purpose - but i will give feedback as though the perspective was not purposefully skewed o.k. - so perspective wise i will start with the chimney - the square seen in perspective that defines the top of the chimney should have parallel lines - right now two appoint lines are parallel and two are not so you might want to adjust the top right line of the chimney top to bring this into parallel with the bottom left line - other perspective issue would be the front of the house and the side of the house do not share the same vertical axis - if you look at the bottom left of the front of the house you see a line that goes straight down from the bottom left edge of the roof and then travels off the page....all of the lines on the side of the house should be parallel to this line...also if you look at the bottom left front of the roof again and look at the bottom edge of the roof you see that the line goes straight back and is parallel to the bottom of the page....the other side of the roof should be parallel to this line.......the problem is that if you correct this you will not see right side of the house and we will not see the boy - but something you could do is to settle an isometric view for the house...this would mean making all of your line that go up and down parallel to the eye of the page (front of the house, window and shutters, chimney, (this would mean a small adjustment to the chimney and a larger one to the window area...the front of the house would stay the same) - and then sticking with the isometric idea you could leave the roofline on the bottom right the same and make the bottom edge of the roofline on the left match its angle - but the top of the roof should also be parallel to this line (right now it gets wider as at travels away from us) - last perspective issue would be the sleigh - the sleigh looks flat and seems only to have one runner - i think drawing the sleigh in perspective would really add to the composition - if you wanted to stick to the isometric idea for the sleigh you could copy and paste the sleigh up and slightly to the left of where it is and connect the two slights with parallel lines and touch things up a bit (this is getting complicated:) - a couple of minor items would be to possibly paint out the black lines on the chimney - put a little yellow light on santas beard - and organize the feathers on the wings to be more believable (does not need to be realistic but just a bit more organized) - this really is a nice piece and has so many great things going for it - i know the perspective might be intentional so please disregard if this is true 🙂swan_wing_2_psd_by_grannysatticstock.jpg

  • SVS OG

    here is a quick isometric - i made a line a 25 degrees and just copied and pasted and free transformed and flipped horizontal where necessary for most of it ...must be an easier way...this is just to show what i meant about parallelism of lines - this is not true perspective but might help tighten up the drawing in places Thrace Santa.jpg

  • I like the snowflakes a lot and the snowy texture on the roof. One thing that jumped out at me was the sleigh seems very tiny, like santa's legs and feet would'nt fit in there. Just a thought.

  • @Kevin-Longueil thank you so much, Kevin!! This looks so much better!! I will work on it.

  • @joanie-stone you are right, I have been thinking the same thing about the back of the sleigh and not enough in his bag. I will try to remedy these problems. Thanks for your observations!!

  • SVS OG

    I think showing the right hand side of the house instead of having it go off the page is maybe a good idea - in the isometric i just quickly followed lines as best i could ..this created the tangent between the roof and the chimney - so possibly raising or lowering the chimney top would be good if you go with something similar to this - also - maybe straightening the tree on the right a bit..or maybe not...

  • SVS OG

    @Thrace-Shirley-Mears here is a quick rough of what i was describing for the sleigh 🙂Thrace Santa 2.jpg

  • @Kevin-Longueil oh wow, that looks amazing, thank you!!

  • @Kevin-Longueil here is my update. How do you think it looks? Thanks again for all your help!!

  • SVS OG

    Santa's sleigh looks good! - but your house looked so much better before I "helped" you - the red lines I put on the drawing were construction lines only 😞 ...... I am sorry I was not very clear with what I was trying to show - the lines I drew were to show that things need to be roughly parallel to one another to read correctly - I hope you did this all on new layers so you are not now cursing my name - the main things I was trying to show was that if the front of the house has lines that go straight up and down then the lines that make the window and chimney need to go straight up and down also - and the top of the chimney needed two sets of parallel lines to read better too - also I thought shortening the house and having the bottom of the chimney follow the contour of the roof would be good too...........but everything looked good before - the front of the house - the wavy edge on the ridge and bottom edges of the roof all looked nice before - if it is possible to put your new sleigh on your older version I would definitely do that - and then just tweak the window and chimney.......I hope I have not caused too much trouble 😞

  • @Kevin-Longueil sorry I didn't respond earlier. I totally understood your directions and yes I did have changes on a different layer. I am sort of going back to the original house but making some changes. I hope it will be better when I am through. Thanks again!

  • SVS OG

    @Thrace-Shirley-Mears That sounds great - really looking forward to seeing your finished piece!

  • @Kevin-Longueil here is update, any better? I still have to fix chimney though.

  • SVS OG

    @Thrace-Shirley-Mears Yes! for sure it is looking better - i love the little pig with the glowing nose - very nice touch - cropping was definitely a way to resolve things that did not cross my mind 🙂 - really looking forward to your critique from Will - you deserve it! i hope the critique gets posted for us to watch......great job!

  • @Kevin-Longueil thank you Kevin!!

Log in to reply