"The Moment Before I Lost My Mom" Kids Book Project Progress for SCBIW Portfolio Preview. . .and eventually Self Publish by April 2020
@Squirrel-Size I love it!
@Squirrel-Size @Squirrel-Size I wish I could give substantive reasons for my reactions, as I think that is most helpful, but I will just say my first impulse was “that’s it” to the 2nd detail—definitely like them looking at each other, holding hands, tails not touching. I don’t know why, except that it gives me the feeling they are about to part ways but not bonds (maybe the hands seem like the bond to me?) and it’s not a permanent parting of ways (maybe the tails slightly apart? gazing at each other?).
@BichonBistro Hahahahaha, the subconscious reaction. Yes! What you said is exactly what I want viewers to get from it! Wow, Thank you so much for all your helpful input. It helps more than you know
This is a beautiful project and what a moving story. . I wish you the best with the book.
Thanks @jdeebella, I appreciate it
Doing some Humming bird sketch studies. Probably will be working on some flower sketch studies tomorrow
sarahlawrence last edited by
@Squirrel-Size really excited to see this grow into a picture book.
I definitely agree you can remove the word “can” from most pages. You could also combine spreads 5 and 6 into one spread, leaving room for the baby girl goat to show some sadness on her own.
Here’s my thoughts on the text/ what I’d change it to:
1: My Garden is my happy place
2: I come here to escape
3: Especially when I’m tired or sad
4: Here I can help things grow
5: Here I can smell things
6: Here I can feel happiness growing
7: When I want to share my happiness...
9: I take it to someone who is sad
10:... like my mom
11: ( I don’t think you need any text here your image is pretty powerful) or something like “ she’s not here anymore “
12: So I remember her through my flowers
I love the emotions in this, also there definitely need to be more goats in children’s books, they’re super cute.
Hope this helps, just my two cents
Thanks @sarahlawrence for the input! I'll fiddle around with the text some more! Love seeing your take on it Thanks
The Drawing Below:
Okay! I spent about 4 hours sketching this on Friday and about 2 hours doing sketch studies. I wished I could have completed it, but I moved my tiny house Saturday and it took my WHOLE day! Sunday is family time. I think I'm gonna just have to give something up day to day to have at least an hour a day to work on this and then 6 hours on Friday. I think, I need to set up a schedule of what needs to be done, so I don't fall behind before my deadline. Wow, time management can be hard! I feel like I'm back in art school again lol
I plan to keep most of the finished drawings black and white without any color for the dummy book. And then this winter I plan to complete them with color and format it.
I love your finished piece and I think it is going to be a beautiful book when you're done. Very touching. The dummy is looking good. I have no critiques at this time.
Sooooo, last night, I figured out my scheduling for what all I need to have done before my dummy book deadline. (Aug 31st). Just over a month left. Ugh! I have to get at least two spreads drawn out a week! This is going to be an interesting 6 weeks.
Below is one of the spreads I plan to work on this week (Spread 5). I'm leaning towards 7 & 8. How about you all?
Okay, spread 5! I started this baby last night! Before I hit the detail stage (hopefully tonight/probably this weekend), You all let me know your thoughts if you have any
lou last edited by
@Squirrel-Size Lovely sketch...the big sun hat is a nice touch! and the little birds are very cute
Storyboard sketch (SPREAD 9):
Detail study sketch:
YEY! I got everything sketch, but now I just gotta finished both my new layouts, finished up the layout from last week. And finish my Croc Picnic pice for the monthly prompted. Wow, I think I know what I'm doing with my three day weekend.
Let me know what you all think? I'm wondering about the stepping stones on the first page, they look like they are floating a bit. But that could be remedied during the color stage. Also should I have them going completely across the page vs. halfway like they are now? Let me know your opinions
Alicja W last edited by
Environment heavy spreads have always been my favorite! This tree home looks like the coziest place to live. I like your decision of having the elements from the right side of the spread merge into the left side. I think continuing the stones until the left-most part of the spread could be a good idea. Then the reader can visually follow the stones (path) the character took to the right spread. I also wonder if adding more decorative elements (like the flowers) to the left spread would be a good idea. I like that the text balances the image in the composition, but wonder if more should be added or if keeping it very simple is the way to go. And I think to answer this, I would just continue the treatment of the other spreads you have on this one. So if they've had a lot of breathing room this one works as is. Something else to think about is pacing. I feel like this is leading up to the climax of the story, so maybe thinking about how you can build that anticipation until the next spread (which I'm reading as the climax). I definitely don't have the answers to these questions, but hope it's something that can get you thinking some more about your story's layout and how it reads. Best of luck!
@Squirrel-Size another beautiful piece ️
@Squirrel-Size I saw your hummingbird sketches on IG—so good!
I'm definitely buying this when its published. Bittersweet, and beautiful.
How is the project going?