"The Moment Before I Lost My Mom" Kids Book Project Progress for SCBIW Portfolio Preview. . .and eventually Self Publish by April 2020
Thanks man! Wow good advice @Chip-Valecek! I will be taking that to heart. That would be a good excuse to go visit my buddies for a few days lol
Awe! thanks @Alicja-W! Yes, any feedback/support would be awesome!
here is my lovely sketchy storyboard. My text is not set in gold yet. I'm still trying to figure out the best wording and what not. Anyone good at word-flow stuff out there? Feel free to put some cents in. I've been working on this storyboard for several weeks now. I did some last minute touches before posting them below.
The composition of the pictures are also not set in gold either, i'm just trying to get an idea of the flow of the book. Any tips, suggestions or ideas about the flow/composition are welcome! Each spread has a number on the top left. Right now this book project only contains 24 pages. A standard kids book usually has around 32 pages. So I might be inserting a spread or two more. Maybe somewhere near the end? What do you all think? My page formate is the same ratio as 11 x 8.5 (landscape) but it will be a bit smaller when printed (the line in the middle of each spread is about where the gutter would be). I also plan to have a title page art too, but I'll get to that later.
If you notice I've included a pair of humming birds in each page (a mama and daughter bird). My moms favorite bird was the humming bird, and I saw them in my garden all the time. I thought it fitting to include some in the illustrations.
I've self-published several books before, but never made a kids book "the proper way." Like taking all the steps such as: storyboarding, thumbnails, color/ value studies and all. This is my first book I plan to do proper like. I've also never done a legit Dummy book before. I heard a lot of Art Directors/Agents like to see a book idea all black & white line work. Not that I necessarily want an Agent at this time though. But I figured it could be good practice for the future perhaps. But from my experience as a graphic designer and building a GD portfolio, I've have found high praise by showing the different stages of a project as well as the finished product/project in a portfolio. So my plan right now is to have some pages of the Dummy book fully rendered while others will be in different stages of rendition (Black and white). What are your all thoughts on that?
I think my biggest concern at the moment is the end of the book; the last two spreads. I feel like it might be a bit choppy.
P.S. Also, I'm a hug fan of goats. I have been one since I was a wee tike. Most of my books have goats in them. So if any of you all spot a squirrel that looks a lot like a goat, shout it out, so I can make the changes accordingly (I feel like I tend to give the squirrels longer necks and snouts then they should have). Thanks you all for your support so far
@Squirrel-Size I am not a writer, so take this with a grain of salt, but I really like the lyrical flow of pages 4-6. I think you might consider eliminating the word “can” on those pages and the word “also” on the last page.
@BichonBistro Oh yes! I really like how the text on pages 4-6 sound without the word "can"! I'll be editing those out I think I'll also be taking out the "also" on the last page too, thanks!
djly last edited by
@Squirrel-Size - it was so wonderful to see the development for "The Moment Before" challenge and I'm so excited to hear you are pursuing this project.
The storyboard is unfolding so beautifully. I might wait until the next stage to provide any feedback, but just wanted to let you know how much I love your project.
Awe, thanks @djly! I'm looking forward to have your feedback and support!
@Squirrel-Size I can tell that page 6 is going to be another memorable image—it conveys the sense of peace and contentment you found in your happy place so well!
I don’t know if it was a conscious decision, but the illustration of the water pump on layout 3 reinforces the concept of the sad feeling with subtlety, almost as if the pump is a metaphor for the tears you shed.
I believe this will be a wonderful book where your pictures tell the story in a way that doesn’t require a lot of text. For some reason (I can’t explain why, because your images are very different), this called to mind an old children’s book I have by Cooper Edens titled “if you’re afraid of the dark, remember the night rainbow”.
Maybe it’s the fact that you find comfort in memories of your mom in that happy place. The last line in that book is “if there is no happy ending...make one out of cookie dough”.
Your story in pictures is a bit like haiku—not many words are required to evoke a visceral response ️
@BichonBistro Oh my! I didn't realize that about spread 3! But that is a wonderful coincidence! That brings on a whole new light to it. Thanks for pointing that out
I looked up Cooper Edens. I like how simple the illustrations are and the simple phrases that go with them. I can see some similarities there. I love the ending phase especially so bc I love cookies. hehehehe
Thank you so much, I love your input!
Spread 8 has been one of the first ones I've been working on so far. Mostly because it hasn't require too many thumbnails to start, hehehe. Its been a bit of a challenge to try to keep the same color palette as the original piece (at the top of this thread). I've been going back and forth trying to remember all the affects. I still have some tweaking to do on this one, but I wanted to post it and see if anyone had any thoughts.
MichaelaH last edited by
@Squirrel-Size Ohhh what a nice fluffy breathy style you choose. It look beautiful
suenaumi last edited by
@Squirrel-Size I haven't been able to be on the forum for months, but opening it up today and finding this post is really inspiring! I really connected with your "Moment Before" entry back in April, as I think many others did as well, and I am happy to see that it has been the springboard for so much more. I believe this is a truly worthwhile project, and am convinced that the final product will be beautiful and meaningful. Best of luck,
@suenaumi Awe! Thanks Sue! That means so much. Its really blowing me away how much you all are excited about this project too. You all keep propelling me! Thanks for the sweet post
This is so sweet.
Thumbnails for spread 11. I plan to start this spread this weekend. Any input guys/gals?
Below is original thumbnail from storyboard:
I like the second detail thumbnail because it looks like they are walking away vs. the first one where they seem like they are just standing with their tail touching. Also, I'm trying to figure out if I like them looking ahead or looking at each other. What are your' ll thoughts?
marine last edited by
@Squirrel-Size Just opening the forum from a long break and saw your beautiful project
It is so great to create from your own story and your childhood memories with your mom.
I can only relate too much as I've been wanting to make a book from that difficult time I experienced as well. But it stayed at the dummy stage...
I really like the flow of your spreads and I'm really looking forward to see your beautiful garden illustrated.
Thanks @marine! Thats so cool you've worked on a book about your experience too, I hope us peeps on the forums can see your book someday. But I know it can be really hard to get a book project off the ground especially when life gets in the way. Go forth and ArtSmith away
@Squirrel-Size I love it!
@Squirrel-Size @Squirrel-Size I wish I could give substantive reasons for my reactions, as I think that is most helpful, but I will just say my first impulse was “that’s it” to the 2nd detail—definitely like them looking at each other, holding hands, tails not touching. I don’t know why, except that it gives me the feeling they are about to part ways but not bonds (maybe the hands seem like the bond to me?) and it’s not a permanent parting of ways (maybe the tails slightly apart? gazing at each other?).
@BichonBistro Hahahahaha, the subconscious reaction. Yes! What you said is exactly what I want viewers to get from it! Wow, Thank you so much for all your helpful input. It helps more than you know