Please Crit my piece from Mermay?


  • Moderator

    Really nice.

    I feel like the bucket claw is the largest element. While it's not that distracting for being a dull color, it's bulky and throws off the feel of the scene.

    The kid has a claw hand, like a claw machine. You could make the bucket a claw like that. Would lighten it up, be a bit less distracting, show a bit more bg, and maybe the kid would feel empowered seeing a claw like his.

    I love the contrast of the water vs her hair.


  • Moderator

    Forgot to add, the chest needs some structural help, as well as the mermaid tail fin.

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    Could angle it.

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    There is a tangent, where the sail boat meets the horizon, could extend it above.

    everything out outlined, but the sharks head, and its head is on the small side.

    You have a small pile of coins, I would sprinkle a few more throughout the tank.

    ☺


  • SVS OG

    @theprairiefox Great things to consider. Thank you for your input, and valuable feedback!


  • SVS OG

    @NelsonYiap Good call on the focal points, I tend to get held up on filling in the image more than anything. Something to remember going forward, thank you!
    Thank you for your valuable feedback. It will help me going forward. Cheers!


  • SVS OG

    @CLCanadyArts Thank you for your comments. Structural touch ups need addressing for sure, thank you. I like the more story telling aspect you suggested with the kids claw and connecting it with the Big claw. I probably chose the bulky crane to fill space and not think of story. Things to remember!
    I've removed the "shark Fin" out in the open water, I feel it wasn't needed. tangent avoided! Cheers!


  • SVS OG

    I haven't read the others posts. One thing I think would help is to diffuse the ink lines that are under the water so that they are less sharp and clear, then ti will seem more like those things are submersed in the water.



  • Hi Todd, what a fun piece! In my opinion you are giving equal attention to everything in the scene, and therefore its hard to focus on the main idea. I think if you de-emphasized the background and cropped the right side a bit, it would give a little more clarity. Just my 2 cents.

    todd.png


  • SVS OG

    Hi @TessaW Yeah this makes sense, I do like the cropped version and more focal points to the pool and the important part: the Mermaid! I appreciate it, Thank you!
    Making notes of all the comments and opinions on this piece, so that I remember these important factors for future creating 🙂



  • @TessaW

    Is there a reason for the box/container that is behind the turtle -or is the turtle suppose to be in it? I find it distracting unless there's a purpose I don't know about? Adding the shadows really helped. 🙂



  • @Heather-Boyd I think that's the place where the prizes are dropped into so they can be retrieved by the player!


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