Granny Can't Find Her Glasses Thumbnails
braydin hawlette last edited by
is this for a book dummy? Something you'll be looking to finish and self publish?
Also, is there any particular thing you feel needs looking at for critique? Anything you're worried about?
The ending's a nice touch I was lulled into a false sense of security.
KathrynAdebayo last edited by
Hilarious story. I love that it's simple. Not too wordy or complex...
I noticed that you have 32 pages, so if that's intentional, here's a diagram that I found helpful in regards to allocating which page the story starts on and how many spreads you want it to be.
I hope you continue to share this project online because I would love to follow how it's coming along. Best wishes!
theprairiefox last edited by
Good story. Love the ending. One thing I would suggest is to add light value to the thumbnails I think it would help with reading the layout and display planning.
JeaneBean last edited by
I see lots of potential in this story! I am wondering though, if you are making it a picture book for children, why there aren't any children in the story? Kids like to relate to themselves, not so much adults cause we are boring. Perhaps if you have a kid in there helping her and the cat and dog look, it might be even more fun. Also, could she look for her glasses in more and more outrageous places? Perhaps start in the house or exaggerate the places she searches through? Some of the words were hard for me to read because they slipped off the page in the scan, but I liked the overall flow and beat of the story. I especially love the cat and dog. Great start!
reddprime last edited by
Good story. I was so glad she found her glasses, and then BAM! Book 2. The cat and dog are cool. Looking forward to watching this one progress.
Sophie Lawson last edited by
The ending is perfect, made me giggle ... I was drawn into it and really wanted to know if Granny was going to find her Glasses The only thing that stood out to me, is something I've been learning via the Creative Composition course, and that is, on pages 3/4 the drawing is in the gutter. That's the only thing I noticed
Be interested to see what this looks like in colour, and I also love the title - got a nice rhythm to it.
@art-of-b Hello! It's a personal project (an autobiography maybe ) Just learning through projects. Thanks.
@kathrynadebayo Thanks for the handy chart. I'm aware of the normal layout but, since it's a personal project, I'm kind of going with something close. It's nice to be reminded though. I may still slim it down though. Thanks again!
@sophie-lawson Thanks, yes it was pointed out to me that I have a couple in danger of the gutter. I've worked that out I think now.....we'll see!
@jeanebean Someone else mentioned to me about making more exaggerated searches in weird places so I better consider that! The story is really a personal project and not necessarily for kids. My grandson might like it though, as is I've been told that I should have a kid in it before but, I chose to just go with the Granny. Maybe it will be a picture book for the elderly I'm surrounded by them anyway!
@theprairiefox Good idea. I think I will do that once I get them just the way I want them, before I enlarge and add color. That is a very good plan. Thanks!!
I made some changes last night (up until three am, actually). What do yuo think? I'll keep looking it over and see what else there is before I try and do the big ones.
Marsha, I think this is a charming story! I love the addition of the dog and cat, they're fun characters. I'm not sure having the last two lines rhyme with each other keeps the same flow as the rest of the story, but this is a great project and I'm looking forward to seeing you develop it. Great job!
KathrynAdebayo last edited by
@marsha-kay-ottum-owen I love what you're doing so far.
@kat thank you ️
@jeanebean I'm also hoping that kids relate to the forgetfulness of Granny (just like they forget). The older we get the more kdlike we get, I think. After all we often end up toddling and in diapers! (not there yet...thankfully)
Still working on this! I've been getting some other critiques too. Here are some pages of my latest changes.... !
Oh! One more.
This is a really lovely story idea, everyone loves a good Granny story and it made me smile - i particularly like the dog and cat too, but I agree with @JeaneBean about adding a little grandchild in there too! Your initial drawings are charming and really compliment the story
Maybe the story could be told from the perspective of the grandchild too as your poem is lovely but there are a couple of parts that don't flow as nicely as others, maybe something like this...
"My Granny can't find her glasses,
and now she's lost her keys!
She can't find a tissue,
and she really has to sneeze!
Her right sock is missing,
And so is her left shoe,
She's meant to be going shopping
but what is she to do?
She looks inside her handbag,
and rifles through her drawer,
she peers under the sofa
and looks behind the door.
The dog and I start looking,
and so does Sid (?) the Cat,
but what is that poking
out from Granny's big red hat?
Hurray! Granny found her glasses,
so now she can see!
Here's her box of tissues
and here are her keys!
Her stocking was in her left shoe..."
(Sorry I can't seem to read the rest)
Look forward to seeing where you take it