Nov. 3rd | Second Drafts
AWall last edited by AWall
I did some adjustments but have to move on to other paid projects. I hope you'll like the end result. Thank you everyone who helped critique!
I've adjusted the two versions with everyone's comments in mind (they are very appreciated). I didn't see @Dulcies comment until now. I might try that boarder suggestion on a third variant for the next round before I choose my entry.
Instead of trying to just explain how I came up with the order for the background on option two, here's a quick overdraw.
One thing I worry about the first variation is that it is too simple/minimalist and might get cut for not
following the brief?
I also hope everyone is seeing that the black boarder is just from photoshop... I was lazy and just did a screenshot.
Here's my first few drafts. I've inked the black portion traditionally and now I'm looking to do the rest digitally.
I think I'm going to switch out the pendulum for other story references that can be smaller and secondary.
My concept was to focus on the man as a writer and his ideas.
mattramsey last edited by
If I'm able to conceptualize what you mean about the gold script it could look really cool--the main issue, of course, would be avoiding making it too "busy."
As far as the sketch: what would it look like if the candle was smaller? Maybe that is an accurate size but it strikes me as over large.
The pendulum is throwing me off but I'm not sure I have any good suggestions. It's hard to put my finger on but right now it's just kinda floating out there. It's pretty passive.
In a similar way, the raven could be tweaked. Maybe get a reference of a raven flying at the viewer and make it larger? I suppose that might take the focus off of Poe though. I'd play around with it and see if you get some ideas.
Jonathon B last edited by
I have to say I like the pendulum in the position it's in. I like the sense of danger that it's creating as it swings toward Poe's head. A nice touch for the feeling of death and foreboding that Poe's works usually ellicit. However I agree with Matt that it seems to just be floating or static. Some possible ways to remedy that might be some motion lines, which I think would work for you since you have a nice line-art style going here. Another possibility would be to add some gradually fading repeats of the pendulum that move away from the initial image. Or anything that you can come up with that gives it some motion. Other than that I think it looks pretty good.
mattramsey last edited by
Now that I see what you were talking about the pendulum position makes more sense. It's like it, and the raven, are his thoughts. You could add more images from his stories to really sell that idea.
Jana last edited by
Wow! That looks amazing. I love the background.
I would even prefer the first one with the title instead of the artifacts from the stories.
If you go for the version with the different objects I would suggest to make it not too overcrowded. It would be a pity if you distract the viewer too much from Poe.
If you don't put the title on the desk, maybe some details in structure in the front wall would be nice.
I am looking forward to see the final version.
AWall last edited by
Thanks for all the feedback. I was starting to think I was on my own!
I'm going to work them both a little more to see which one ends up more successful. I like all the ideas presented.
@AWall, I like your idea here and his drawing is really nice, it has this old style with flavor of your own which is great. I like the 2nd image because I think it talks more about him compared to the first one. I would move the ink container a bit to right so it's is not touching or hiding behind the candle. I don't know maybe I was looking for the ink haha.
Hey Amanda this is looking great - for crit. I would say that the crow silhouette does not read as a crow - the shape of the wings and the head are more hawk-like - I think it would be important that it reads very quickly as a crow - there is also something about the way it is headed off to the left - you could try a much more organic pose for the crow and face it more to the right - also possibly fade the rope out before it hits the top of the canvas too - it seems to lead off the page instead of into the page because we read the blade after Poe and the rope sends us out the top of the page - the pendulum and the bird are very static but their positions imply kinetic - possibly try the pendulum sitting quietly above Poe's head with the crow looking down at his creator - ...just throwing out ideas - I really do like your piece!
Ace Connell last edited by
Wow, these are so pretty!
I'd maybe have the title on the first one black so it reads better if someone's browsing in a bookstore or on Amazon or whatever, but lovely, lovely work!
This is looking great! I love the traditional inked style, think it's perfect for this. I really prefer the first version (I might be in the minority on this)...because it's balanced better between the top and bottom, and personally I think the text is an important 'character' in the piece, it needs to perform the advertising function of explaining the book so I like the bigger bolder text best I agree with Ace that it would be better in black. But I also like the raven and pendulum..they help give the flavour of Poe... if it were me, I would take those, make a few more similar drawings and use to create an inky border around/overlapping the edges of the first sketch....only an idea though. I'm sure you're going to do a great job with this