Sailboat Travel WIP
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Hey guys! Looking for some feedback on my travel piece. The first is my thumbnail and the second is an in progress of my line work. Feedback would be greatly appreciated. What do you like and not like about it? "_
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@emilym looks like you submitted the post before the images where fully uploaded. When you post an image make sure it is showing in the preview window before you submit.
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@emilym I really like the expression on the girl looking back. And I really like the value study. One thing I wondered about was the aspect ratio. The sail is so tall, I wondered if it were going to tip over the boat. since it goes all of the way up to the sky, I initially thought it was a beam of light from a break in the clouds. That might be a way to shorten the sail and still keep your composition. Also, since the girl looking back is looking off of the page, my eye kind of gets trapped there. I wondered what she was looking at? It feels like she is really close to the edge of the picture and might be looking at something exciting! Adding something to bring the eye back around might help.
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I like the flag at the top of the sail. It has a really nice shape. The flag, the lighthouse, and the landscape give a lot of movement at the top of the sketch that keeps your eye looking around at the different areas, and the lines of the sail point down to the figures in the boat. I agree with @juliepeelart about the figure at the bottom drawing attention to the corner of the page.
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@miriam @juliepeelart I really appreciate the feedback! I totally noticed the corner thing as soon as you guys pointed it out. I shifted the boat over to the other side as that matches my original idea, and now it's more about the kid in the back trailing a hand in the wake of the boat. I also shortened the sail a bit, leaving it long enough to still break the horizon line.
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@emilym That looks great! I like her looking down. This is a very peaceful composition. You may still need something to bring the eye up and around, but you could probably even do that with the light hitting the ripples in the water. I like the shorter sail. You mentioned that it was part of your original idea to make it break up the shore line. That is a great way to tie the piece together. If you still want the sail to extend far above it, you can always move down the horizon.
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@emilym Very nice composition decision with boat! And I really like your sketch with colored pencil)
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@emilym
Your changes have made a big difference! Changing the kid to reach out to the water is a good idea and gives purpose to the pose. Very nice work! -
I wanted to see what it would look like with @juliepeelart's suggestion of moving the horizon line. I hope you don't mind that I did a quick edit & moved the horizon to the top 1/3 line on the page (which is still quite a bit lower than the original--so you might want to play around with it some more).
