October 3rd Thursday - Ostrich - slightly more finished piece

  • I loved seeing everyone's entries - Such amazing talent here! My entry (first time) was unfinished, and was pretty pathetic. So I've tried to work it a bit more. I doubt I will do anymore with it, even though it could still use massaging, but I would appreciate feedback anyway.

    Biggest problem I have with my image is that there's really no clever concept/story being presented. I focused too much on technique and rendering style, rather than content. And I can see tonal/composition problems (poor planning). I come from a 3D background - so I wanted to see if I could render a hand drawn look from my 3D software (Hash Animation Master) with some characters I've been creating (designed to look like childish paper cutouts), and tweak the render further in photoshop. Yup. Most of you could whip out a zillion hand drawn finished pieces in half the time I spent wrangling and hassling with the 3D phase.

    So here's what I have tweaked since the contest ended.9WEBsaturated.jpg

  • SVS OG

    I think it looks very good - i like your paper cutout style - i could see this in a children's book for sure - compositionally i wonder if it might seem more natural to flip the image for a left to right read- be worth a peek at least - really nice piece!

  • Thanks Kevin Longueil - Good idea! I like it better flipped. Interesting how it does read better. 9WEBsaturatedflipped.jpg

  • After flipping the image, I thought I would try flipping Ostrich to make it look like he was "slightly" out of control, headed for a landing. I don't know what to do with text, fonts. Not sure about the text color. 11flippedplaneWEB2.jpg

  • SVS OG

    Ha - this one cracked me up - you could make all of the animals eyes popping a bit (like the alligator and hippos) as though they are a bit worried he's going to fly into them - looks great!

  • @Kevin-Longueil ah yes - thanks again for the feedback - I might also change some of the poses to suggest "even more worry".

  • Flipped it back, to show motion going from left to right, added a little more big eye look to elephants, changed pose of little girl right hand corner, changed text color and placement of text. ver121600x1000WEB.jpg

  • SVS OG

    Looks great! - I love how you split up the text - for some reason I want to move the middle text a tiny bit closer to the ostrich - but really it looks great!

  • @Kevin-Longueil Thanks - I too wanted to move text closer to Ostrich, to fill out more the shape/road on the ground - but I was thinking it might not be a good idea to span the crease...as IF this were a 2 page spread. But I suppose text placement and design would be done by someone else? I'm a noob. I think it's time for me to be moving on to Edgar Allen Poe. Thanks for all your feedback.

  • I REALLY thought I was going to move on - but decided one more tweak...added exhaust, moved text. exhaustaddedweb3smaller.jpg

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