Ostrich can fly!
Here my first progress for the next 3rd Thursday competition. In my version of the story the aircraft is made by chimpanzees. They will appear on the green lane watching ostrich fly. Maybe Ostrichs wife and unborn baby will be in the piece as well.
Right now, Ostrich is still in the sketch state. Any feedback already?
I really like the composition! and your aircraft looks very much like it was made by chimps hehe
Thrace last edited by
@Jana Yes, its a very nice composition and I love the plane. I would move the ostrich's head out of the cloud it was very hard for me to figure out where the head was because of its position in the cloud. Just my opinion.
Lee White last edited by
Love the colors and drawing on this one.
Couple of things I noticed:
• If the ostrich is looking back, the center line of the helmet needs to be redrawn along it's true center line. Right now it doesn't match the angle of his beak.
• The image is pretty tight as it is now, I'd do some very quick compositional sketches to make sure it's not going to be cramped. Watch out for doing too much "finished" work without working out all the details first. Katrina's piece from the last third thursday (shown below) is a fantastic guide to working up a complicated image.
Can't wait to see it when it's finished! : )
@Lynn-Larson @Thrace-Shirley-Mears @Lee-White
Thanks, guys, for your feedback!
Lee, you are completely right, ofcourse. My way to finish a piece is not as it should be. I am so awefully impatient, that I am not able to make one step after the other, but go ahead very quickly, because I want to see something on my blank paper. I see the image in my head and want to pull it out as fast as possible. Sometimes this causes a lot of fixing steps...
I will work on that!
Unfortunately, I missed the dead line for Ostrich. Was just too distracted by some other things I was working on at the same time. But I definitively want to finish it. I am far away from being done, but I want to show it anyway to see what you say while I am doing the last steps. I am sure I can rely on your feedback to push it further. What do you think, is it too crowdy? Should the chimpanzees be smaller?
The chimps are so cute!!! I would make them a little smaller, especially since they have binoculars. And maybe take the jet trail off the page? it's looking like the aircraft launched right next to them...unless that's what you were going for, then rock on! hehe, such fun colors!
Thanks, Lynn! @lynn-larson
Yes, in fact I wanted the setting a bit messy, like the airplane was surprisingly launching better than expected. The chimps actually have constructed the airplane, I tried to make that connection with color. I am wondering if I should spread some tools or wood around the chimps, to make that more clear?
Kevin Longueil last edited by Kevin Longueil
Looking good Jana! Yes - I would agree the chimpanzees should be smaller - right now the ostrich is above the clouds making the perceived or expected distance between them to be great(large) - you could also remove the clouds to bring the plane down closer to the ground so the scales would make more sense - I think even if you make the chimpanzees smaller it will be difficult to have it look correct with the clouds between them unless you make them very small - which would be too small - the chimpanzees also do not look grounded right now so they will most likely float to the same visual plane as the ostrich if the values remain the same and there are no shadows on the ground - right now the ostrich is headed toward the sun by the lighting I see on the plane - maybe apply this same light source to the chimpanzees .. I think "edge control" also is something that might help push them into the background by having less crisp edges on the things that are farthest away - that could be a style choice though - also I think the very symmetrical grouping of the chimpanzees looks very graphic almost like a logo - slightly varying the position and poses beyond what you have already done to break it up a bit might be worth looking at - Love the plane! - great work
I worked on the chimpanzee crew today. Regarding your ideas, I made them smaller and desaturated their color to push them further away. I worked on grounding them by some shadows and added some light and shadow to their figures. The tools and wood should help identifying the chimps as the constructors. What do you say? What do you think about the new arrangement of the three?
That looks great! the tool and parts laying there definitely enforce the feel that they made the craft
Kevin Longueil last edited by
This looks great! - the chimpanzees look much more natural in their new arrangement and color - and the shadows help to ground them - i will say that for me the cloud is telling me the pane is high in the air but the scale of the creatures on the ground are telling me the plane is fairly close to the ground - so i think you could still go do without the cloud or reduce the scale of the ground characters a bit more - one thing that reducing the ground characters might allow is bringing the second ostrich into the group of chimpanzees - this would put him or her into a group and lessen the importance of that character - which i think would be beneficial - also the area between the two ostrich heads is very confusing but i think you will sort this out - i think if you get rid of the tangents between the aviator helmet and the cloud it will help a lot - these are all minor things that i mention - it really is looking good!