I don't like my work.
@marksart00 I love that story! Thank you for sharing all of it. Funny enough in the mid 90's i was just starting out as a Display & Exhibition Design student - i built stuff, had to create Graphic Designed posters and make shift window displays. I laughed with my husband earlier in regards to an old 'enlarger' machine - i bet you know what they were. I spent hours enlarging and re-tracing fonts to get it "just right". Man that was a pain in the arse! I remember using Desktop Publisher in its infancy too... i do not want to go back to that.
Thanks for reminding me how difficult it was in those days. I am blessed with a wealth of awesomeness on the world wide web today and i'm going to use it with both hands.
If i'm honest, i'm probably more confident in my graphic design work than my sketching skills. I had to do life drawing at College then at Uni. I got cocky and thought i didn't need to keep it up as i could draw... Sheesh, what a load of bullshit that was. And then i had a huge wake up call - i needed more than arrogance to get a job in the design world - which i discovered i didn't really have - and then i had my confidence booted out of me and fell into an admin job.
I really like your improvement list. I will come up with my own - as well as stealing some of your ideas (hope that's ok).
@corykerr Thank you also Cory. I will look into the imposter syndrome. I felt that massively when i was a lot younger. But perhaps it's still there - just immersed into my imagination. I will do some research and work on it. And you are definitely right - i have got to accept that failure is part of growth. I think sometimes i don't want to accept failure and this in turn makes me very critical and harsh on myself.
And the biggest thing is being vulnerble. Having people see your work is like they can see inside your head/heart - and that's difficult. You're offering up yourself for criticism.
More wonderful wise words from both of you.
Thank you for sharing your stories and things that help you. I appreciate it massively.
I have felt a lift today. Speaking to you all and connecting has made it less daunting and less isolating. I'm glad i spoke up.
amberwingart last edited by amberwingart
@papermoon First of all, welcome! As you can see, everyone here is seriously amazing. Don't ever feel weird about sharing anything you're going through here - you'll find nothing but support from your fellow artists, mainly because chances are, we've been through it or are going through it too.
A good example of that is what you've mentioned in this post - I can completely relate. I found that Ira Glass quote that @smceccarelli shared a couple of years ago and it helped to keep me from quitting art altogether. I'll share with you my story, which is a little different than a lot of artists in general, but not so different from many of the artists here.
When I was in 6th grade, I "discovered" drawing - and found that I really enjoyed it. I'd spend hours drawing little animal characters at school. But in 7th grade, I met a girl named Lianne who was really amazing for her age and it made me feel so discouraged that I gave up. I thought that if I wasn't naturally that good, then I'd never be, so I just put away my pencil and only picked it up every few years for a single sketch or drawing on a piece of printer paper or a napkin when I could no longer fight or ignore the urge to draw. That mistaken belief stuck with me my entire life and, although every few years I'd get the fire to draw something, it'd quickly pass after I drew something that looked, understandably awful. I have no idea why I didn't realize that it takes practice to get better, but no one ever told me that, so the mistaken belief that drawing ability is innate stuck. It didn't help that I had 2 super talented artist boyfriends through the years who laughed when I'd draw something and would just say, "draw what you see" and dismiss me when I'd try.
Finally, when I was 39 I met my husband and, when he first saw one of my chicken scratch drawings, he was nothing but encouraging. Because of that, in February of 2011 I started drawing and never stopped - it's been an obsession ever since. I'm now 45. But I can't overcome the frustration over the amateurish look of my work compared to others. I know I want my work to be in conventions like IlluxCon, next to my favorite artists and I beat myself up for all of the time wasted. I think my work is embarrassing. But when I find myself feeling that way, I turn on an SVS video or some other art learning tool and I get to work. I remind myself that I was able to get where I am because I put in hours of practice, so if I want to get further, I have to do the same. It's especially hard though because I have to struggle with the feeling that I'm playing catch up with people who have been practicing for 20 years.
But I've found that when I get the most frustrated, it usually means that I'm about to level up my skills, so I now start to look forward to that feeling in a strange way. So take heart - we've all got a story and we've all got regrets. It's natural. Just don't let those get in the way of kicking butt and taking names :).
Btw, I saw a meme a couple of years ago that runs through my head a lot: "Practice until your idols become your competition."
Eric Castleman last edited by Eric Castleman
@papermoon I hate my work as well! that's a good thing though. In fact, I would say that once you get to the point of feeling like your work is awesome you will stop progressing. Compared to everyone I know in my personal life, I am incredible, but that is why I am here, because I suck compared to everyone on these forums. It makes me feel bad, and that is good. It creates a sense of drive and pushes me to make goals. I just painted today, and wanted to punch myself in the face, which is good.
Leontine last edited by
Note to al the repliers of this post: You guys here are amazingly awesome, to pick up a person who felt down in the dirt and clean him up until he shines and has blushes on his cheeks! I LOVE IT! #SVSROCKS !
I am really bowled over by the responses here! You guys are bloody phenomenal! Thank you.
I've spent most of the day taking it easy and reflecting on what everyone has said and how to plan out some projects. I found some good project management Apps today. I'm getting serious and will embrace the noisy bastards in my head.
Have a good day wherever you are in the world right now
I want to add that three months ago i decided to form a Comic Group - like a writers group for but artists and writers of comics and zines - and i did it. We've met two times and the third is in a week. It's been wonderful connecting with so many people in this town.
I even created a FaceBook page to help folk who can't attend. We meet at a lunch time with the help of an organisation called Creative Waikato. They've been awesome too.
The Inktober project is what pushed me over the "i hate my work" edge. Perhaps that's what i needed. A short sharp shove over into the abyss.
Anyhoo, take it easy.
corykerr last edited by
@papermoon That's great to hear! I'm glad you've been pushed into the abyss.
I just posted an image and my wife said, "I love that! Do you like it?"
"nope, there's a lot wrong with it... but I'm glad you like it."
Which is as good as it gets sometimes
Lee Holland last edited by
It is a struggle. But if you keep on learning and keep drawing you will get there.
I can't say if this would work well for your family, but you mentioned your 4 year old. Perhaps you could get crayons or whatever the Little One likes to use and set him down and have mother/son Art Time. He can color while you work on your drawings, etc... My mom used to do that with me when I was small. I think that kids are naturally fascinated by art, when my nieces were younger they would be entertained by watching my wife and I draw. Good Luck
Eric Castleman last edited by
@papermoon check out this thread I created when I first started. I think it might be of some help. http://forum.svslearn.com/topic/2217/anyone-else-on-here-a-parent-who-is-trying-to-get-better-at-their-art
You're not alone. It's better than you think. I believe we all go through those feelings. It's so humbling to be a ceative peson and put yourself out there. It i s anever ending process to improve and I think that those feelings are growing pains. Oncw yuo can get up and move on yu will get better but, I'm pretty sure you're better than you think. Hang in there!
BTW, I'm almost 60 years old and I have been drawing for years and I still have a hard time fi I compare myself to others on these forums. Be brave! Do i tanyway. I have a facebook page and all my non artist friends love it because they don't know I'm not a master yet That helps me feel better sometimes -my little group of fans (mainly friends and family). They are a real boost and source fo encouragement but being on here makes me stretch and feel humble.
Rebecca Hirsch last edited by
I have on occasion felt like posting something like you so bravely have, but didn't for fear of seeming whiny and weak. Thanks for showing that it's okay to express an emotion that sincerely expresses how frequently trying to live a creative life can make you want to pull your hair out, and that's okay. Wishing you the best as you move forward. On of my favorite quotes comes from a book character named Sister Creep, "One step. One step, and the next gets you where your going."
Here's to your next step...
o my god! i felt like this only yesterday and found myself steering towards svs community.
your so brave for posting this.
i guess I'm at the beginning of the phase.. I'm only a couple a year into actually practicing art that I love. I was ready to fall into despair yesterday when I felt that I have worked so hard and long and still am not where I wanna be.
thank you everyone for giving advise and support. this may not be my post but was very much needed and helped heaps.
best of moral and cheers to all