Could use feedback

  • Yeah, I have some concerns about the position of the child behind the back. I may have to adjust the composition so we can see that whole body. The girl who threw the snowball is jumping up in shock - I better put some shadow underneath her to show she's off the ground. Erg. Having one of those days where I don't like anything I've drawn today. Oh, well, tomorrow's another day.

  • @smceccarelli Thanks! I will be adding some more details so some objects like the hat are more easily understood.

  • SVS Team SVS OG

    I also feel that the girl in back is sitting vs jumping. I believe its the angle of her legs. I also think she should be smaller since she is in the back. Right now at her size I would think she is on the same level as the old man. Keep going looks like its going to be a fun piece when its all done!

  • @Chip-Valecek That's a good point, I will alter her size. I added some shadow underneath her and it does read better, but I will play with the legs and see if I can improve it more. Thanks.

  • SVS OG

    I wish I had a bigger screen so I could see the whole thing at once. I get the feeling that everything is kind of squished up to the front behind teh manand the background is very empty. Maybe the girls could just be repositoned a little bit back farther. If I could see the whole thing it would be easier to tell. Otherwise I really like it. I agree that if the oner girl is jumping she'll need some shadows underneath or something because I thought sh ewas sitting in the snow with her legs out. Really cute.

  • SVS OG

    @Marsha-Kay-Ottum-Owen Hey Marsha - if you double tap an image it will show you the entire piece in a new window (usually 🙂 you can also open image in a new tab too i believe depending on what you are using... there always seems to be a way to see the whole thing though

  • SVS OG

    I like the idea. I agree with the advice that has been given already. I think you make a few tweaks and you'll have a really nice image.

  • SVS OG

    @Kevin-Longueil oh! it worked. Thanks, Kevin!

  • I have pulled it apart and made it a horizontal format instead. I will post an update before I go to color. Thanks for the comments, all.

  • Decided to go ahead and start color - meanwhile here's a companion piece to this one. I designed it to be the book cover.
    0_1475039403144_Dodd cover.jpg

  • Livened up the color a bit, in places, dulled it in others. I think I'll call it "Finished, not perfect".
    0_1475209070038_Dodd cover2.jpg

  • Here's the first one. Let me know if you think the snowball to the head isn't clear enough. Still need to add some final touches but posting for feedback. Thanks all.
    0_1475382463085_Mr Dodd shoveling final.jpg

  • Also, I have a softer ink line on this one. Might re-ink the other so it's not such a hard line, since my paint is style is softer. Thoughts or comments welcome.

  • SVS OG

    @Rebecca-Hirsch Hello Rebecca i love the color on this one and the story of course - i like the idea of the girl in the air - it is the thing that i keep coming back to though - my mind tries to get the chronology of events right and i keep getting stuck on how she ended up in the air and how she is there at that particular moment - if this were an animation it would be obvious what is happening - it could be just me - i did a quick paint over that probably kills the spirit of what you are going for so i apologize - i was trying to get the man having been hit and the girl having thrown the snowball on the same timeline - there would be many other ways to do this i think - the main thing i tried to do was to make the mitten that was her throwing hand pop by making it light against dark - hopefully making us think "she just threw that snowball" anyways... i really do like the piece - feel free to ignore this 🙂

    0_1475434843523_Snowball 2.jpeg

    I did paint out the house too... if you draw through and finish the house i think it might end up on the sidewalk - you could also scoot it over a bit just struck me though that it might be a walkway to the house and not a sidewalk at all

  • @Kevin-Longueil I was trying to show her shock that she threw a snowball and hit her neighbor in the head with it, but I think your pose tells the story better. I think I will give the pose a try. The second house is supposed to belong to the kids, but maybe it doesn't need to show at all in this piece. I will paint it out and see what I think, or try moving it. Thank you for helping me look at the piece differently.

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