May 3rd Thursday
I'm a little hesitant to show my work because the only art classes I have taken other than architectural delineation in college have been through these wonderful SVS courses. Anyway, this is my shot at my fortune for the challenge. I wanted to go in a more painterly route with this one rather than cartoony. Any advice and suggestions are appreciated.
mattramsey last edited by mattramsey
@JulieF lot of really great things going on in this piece!
I'll point out a few things that you might want to take a look at.
The first is that, as a general rule, you want to be careful where you "cut people off." It's fine to have the adult partially out of the frame but you have him/her cut off right at the neck and it gives it a little bit of the decapitated feel. The easy solution would be to crop the top of the picture down.
Second, the boys skin is very light and it's blending quite a bit with the light boat colors. At least it is on my monitor, others may see differently. I think you'll have to look at making a clearer distinction there. Possibly darken up his skin.
Third, I'd play around with where the boy is looking and maybe his expression. Maybe you could have him looking happily up at the adult? Right now he just looks really not happy to be there.
Finally, maybe lighten up/thin out the boy's fishing line. I have a couple of children's fishing poles and even though they are for kids they still use the standard clear, thin lines. It almost looks like he is using string.
Really great start!
@mattramsey Really great points. I struggled with the dad's pose quite a bit actually. I originally had him bending down and smiling at the boy but I couldn't get that to look right for the life of me. I'll try to give that another go and see if I have better luck with it today.
I also wasn't sure I was sold on the boy's expression either. I had myself talked into him just being super focused on catching a fish, but I think you're right in that he doesn't look happy to be there. Whoops!
I'll revisit the colors and play with the fishing line. Thanks for the suggestions!
Thrace last edited by
@JulieF I absolutely love your water and your background, very nice!! I agree with all of Matt's point they are spot on! One more thing that bothers me is the direction of the boat. It seems to be sideways to the flow of the river. I know nothing about boats maybe they can do that so if I am wrong sorry. Very nice painting and I can't wait to see the finally product!!
Lee White last edited by
Great to see your take on the fortune. This is a tricky assignment!
One thing I want to suggest (wait, one thing I ALWAYS suggest) is doing more early sketch work to really nail all the elements of a piece. That means doing lots of thumbnails and submitting the top three to the forum for feedback. It is always going to be harder to adjust a finished painting than just getting all the elements worked out beforehand.
That said, I do think there are some wonderful passages in your painting. I agree with the other critiques about the boy and the position of the dad. I can't wait to see what you come up with as a solution to those. This is where all the learnin' takes place! : )
@Lee-White Thanks for the suggestions. I'll make sure to do some more thumbnails and submit them for feedback in the forum next month. I got frustrated and gave up too early in the thumbnail stage with this one just to get started on something rather than doing as you suggested. I knew better but frustration got me.
I took all of the suggestions and after trying a few options this is the composition I came up with that I liked the best. I darkened the skin tones, hopefully have less of a yarn look to the fishing line now and added some more shadows.
There's still time for tweaks if there are any more suggestions. Thank you all so much for the feedback!
Here's the better image. Sorry, posted the smaller and fuzzier copy by accident. Whoops!