Saying Goodbye: Let's share our WIPs

[Reb Erlik]

Some people have already started individual WIP threads but this will be for the whole group.
Feel free to post here as well even if you started an individual thread.

[Mariana B.]

I started this other illustration inspired by the theme saying goodbye.
I like the idea of saying goodbye as being the bittersweet first step to a journey towards unknown lands. So I imagined this adventurous teen girl leaving her village, ready to discover the world for herself.
However I am not sure if I like it or not, so any feedback will be appreciated
Hopefully the sketch is not too messy

[Reb Erlik]

@Mariana-B Wow Mariana, you're on a roll! This is your third one for the prompt right? I like how you've posed this so that we can see all of the characters facing forwards, but she has her back turned to the family.

Consider moving her onto the rule of thirds. As is, she's not quite centered, not quite on the third. Maybe a longer format page with more houses/forest on the lefthand side.
Same thing with the horizon. I'd like to see that raised so it's also exactly on the third.

Also, I don't know about that gun position. Yes, it does function as a lead line to guide your eye back to the family. But, it's kind of unsettling to have it be a gun that's pointing at her family.
Instead, you could create a path through the field that leads back to her family, using a lighter value or a fence.

Maybe her head could be angled up slightly so that she's looking up at the sky. That would suggest that she's looking at something further away... her destination is far off. It would also heighten the emotion in her face which is hard to read at the moment. Not sure if she looks happy or worried.

I'm not sure if the horse's ear touching the edge of the frame is an issue.

You did a great job on the light direction. It feels like the sun is going down because of how the horse and rider are backlit/side lit.

Here's a draw-over with some suggestions. Cheers!!!

[Mariana B.]

@Reb-Erlik thank you for the amazing feedback!
Indeed sometimes certain prompts trigger like a million of ideas, and other prompts not so much. This time I skipped Sept prompt and instead worked on Oct’s prompt because I felt so interested about the possibilities!
I know I should push myself to participate specially on the prompts that are not the most inspiring to me, as in real work you never know what kind of thing you will have to draw, but for now I just want to have fun xD

I see what you mean with the rule of thirds and stretching the format a little! I love your draw over with the path and the small fence.
I realize my sketch maybe was way to rough because that gun that you mention wasn’t supposed to be a gun, it was just some random cart fat away in the distance but I see it now how it looked like it was attached to her back. Oops!

With her expression I wanted to do a mixture of sad(for leaving the family) and excitement (for the adventure) so her eyebrows are like in a sad angle but she is smiling, but I will work on it a little more to make it more clear.
Thanks again for the great feedback!

[Reb Erlik]

I'm tying to figure out how to incorporate 3 concepts as metaphor for a break-up:
-Girl made of kintsugi (broken and pieced back together) and missing her heart
-Handwritten letters flapping away as paper cranes
-Girl holding an empty box/moving out of an apartment

Any feedback on these concept sketches would be appreciated. Thanks!

[Mariana B.]

@Reb-Erlik those are amazing concepts!
I like the very last one the best, because it showing the location adds to the feeling.
I feel like the large paper crane could be just a little more to the left maybe? It feels too close to the edge.
There is a circular shape on the upper wall in the last 2 pictures, and I wonder if that has some significance too.
I like that at least based on the shading it seems to hint that the room will be darker, and the paper bird will be lighter. I can’t wait to see more

[Reb Erlik]

@Mariana-B Happy to help I loved your sketch, so that's why I couldn't resist doing a draw-over. (oops, yes I see now that it's clearly a cart not a gun). I like the idea of mixed emotions on her face.

Your dress comic is awesome too! You really are challenging yourself and it's great to see.
I'm super flattered that you like my prompt so much! It's cool to see it interpreted in so many different ways.

[Fey Realme]

I heard a story I thought I could illustrate for the prompt, although there are only a few days before the deadline--I'm not sure how to do it though and I would love some help from the brain trust.

The story went like this:
Long ago, (1888) there was once a poor boy who lived in the Midwest on a farm with his mother. His father left him a violin, which he loved very much, and would play and play every opportunity that he got--to the point that sometimes it would be locked up until he did his chores. When he grew up he was invited to try out for the territorial orchestra, which would play all over the area. After he finished playing, the man said "You are the most accomplished violinist I have ever heard west of Denver," and offered him a place in the orchestra effective that fall, which would pay very well. The next week, his Bishop (the leader of his congregation) called him into his office and asked "Is there any way you can put off playing in the orchestra for a couple of years? Before you start earning money, you owe something to God: Will you accept the call to serve a two-year mission teaching people the Gospel of Jesus Christ?" The young man told his bishop that if there was any way he could raise the money required, he would accept the call. He went home and told his mother that he had been called on a mission and asked if there was any way they could raise the money for him to go.

His mother looked at him and said, "There is one thing of value that we own.
If you sell your violin, we will have enough money for you to go on this mission."

Six days later he wrote in his journal "I awoke this morning and took my violin from its case. All day long I played the music I loved. In the evening when the light grew dim and I could play no longer, I placed the instrument in its case. It is enough. Tomorrow I leave for my mission."

Forty-five years later, he wrote in his journal "The greatest decision I ever made in my life was to give up something I truly loved to the God I loved even more. He has never forgotten me for it."

(the greatest decision of my life- FollowHIM podcast)

---

There is a clear moment of saying goodbye, when he played his violin all day before selling it to fund his mission, but how can I show the whole story? obviously, it is a young man, in a small dusty worn farm room, playing the violin, with the case open and the music. but how can I show that this is not a private concert, not just practicing, it is a painful and poignant goodbye?

I think the time of day should be as it is getting dim, close to the end, and perhaps his mother and younger siblings are there, and perhaps the person who is going to buy the violin is there? how do I say that in a way that you get it immediately? who would buy a violin for a lot of money over there? how would they look? how would they pay? with a briefcase of cash? a check? would they be old? or middle-aged? what is the one thing they need to hold or wear or have to immediately say this is a purchaser of a very high quality, and well-loved violin?

I suppose for the story there should also be a dusty suitcase prepared, and a good though worn suit laid out to be worn the next day. Maybe there is some sort of visual cue, like a train ticket or some missionary-specific item to cue the viewer that the lover of this violin is leaving it behind?
I also wonder if I could clarify the story by including a line from his journal entry somehow? but that has never gone well for me before, they never get it. How can we say he is not only leaving soon, but letting go of his best friend at this moment?

what do you think? thanks a lot everyone

[MarcRobinson]

@Fey-Realme this is where dozens of thumbnails come in. It's next to impossible to fix a poor composition after the fact. I'm no expert but it is very difficult in my opinion to compress so so much story into a single image in a way that reads well. Try and pick one singular element / part of the story and focus in on it. That's only my opinion! There may very well be a way of showing everything you need in a way that works. I like the story though.

[willicreate]

@Fey-Realme It depends what you believe the man's relationship with music is. Why is it painful to part with the object?

Is music a medium to connect with his (missing?) father and/or communicate with others? Does he lose his voice and friendships?

Is musical instrument playing a practical skill to work his way out of the lower class? Does he lose the only one opportunity for a luxurious lifestyle?

To him (and the Bishop), the talent for music is not a gift from God. Talent of any sort is often associated with pride and greed. As a story of humility, music is an indulgence he can part with to be a true Christian. Is his last performance an act to cast out sin?

Is the violin a representation for childhood? Creative pursuits are often seen as immaturity. Thinking creatively is not always seen as a kind of intelligence; sometimes its the opposite. Is he giving up innocence to become a respectable man?

I'm answering as though the man completely gave up the pursuit of music... But if the story is really about the object, then I would present the violin prominently, as though it were a character itself.

Whatever the case may be, I imagine the goodbye scene as an intimate moment between the person and a fragment of identity.

[Fey Realme]

Thank you @MarcRobinson and @willicreate for your thoughtful responses and insight Thank you for taking time to analyze it and for letting me into your artistic thought process--it is very helpful and encouraging, especially to be reminded of the basics

[Oana]

Hi! September is a crazy month but I am pushing myself to get something done, even if not very complex. I had some difficulty with the prompt... Here is a sketch of my funny take on it.
Does this answer the prompt?...

[Reb Erlik]

@Oana Awesome! Great expressions on the characters. I would say it answers the prompt but "saying goodbye" takes a backseat to the main story of the hidden dog. Building a narrative is the whole point of these challenges and you've done a great job telling a funny story here!

[Oana]

@Reb-Erlik Thank you! I was not sure how it reads, this will help me finish it!

[Oana]

Dived right into coloring, I want to try fading a bit the lines this time

[Oana]

@Reb-Erlik Now that I finished the image I can see better how far I deviated from the prompt, you are right! Actually, I had started quite differently: the kid was going to school for the first time, the mother was worried, a teddy bear weaved him goodbye, the mum held the teddybear.. then the teddy went in the kid's backpack to confort him at school.. it really was about "goodbye"... but I didn't manage to make it work. Then this ideea popped into my head and I immediately was able to draw it... :))) So there it is

[Reb Erlik]

@Oana It looks great in color! Don't worry about the concept too much. If sentimental isn't your thing, stick with funny! Really good storytelling here; I bet our teachers will love it!

[Oana]

As I used Procreate, I remembered it saves a video of the process and thought it might be interesting to post it here.

https://youtu.be/hDCbgXMmHuQ?si=ujoUmUA7H5E95n3Y

[Oana]

@Reb-Erlik I really liked your concept, very beautiful ideea and concept sketches. I didn't have much time to comment but I am waiting to see the final image!

[Reb Erlik]

Trying to choose a background layout. Which is better? Balcony or alley?