December Rock fortress composition/story
For the December prompt I want to challenge myself and focus on perspective.
I made a few thumbnails and decided on this one for now.
What do you think about it? Does the composition work? Is the story clear and not too boring? What would you change?
Thanks a lot!
makekong last edited by
@Annika-Wenzel I like it!
what do you think of giving your character a bit more space? Like center it between the towers and move the picture frame a bit further
@makekong that sounds like a good idea! Should help with the silhouette too.
I tried to change it, do you think it works like this?!
I will work with values too so the frame blends into the background.
makekong last edited by
@Annika-Wenzel Love the teddy!
@Annika-Wenzel Is the illustration supposed to be morphing into the kid's imagination?
@tom-barrett yes, the kid is in its bedroom and fighting monsters in its imagination from the "bed fortress".
Do you have a suggestion to make it more clear?
Hey, not sure if this is really helpful or not but I would maybe suggest doing a few more thumbnails of your composition. Basically when I look at this image, my eye goes to the boy and then the boy's sword points to the monster so I look at that but then the monster is in the corner of the page, almost like he's falling off the edge? So my eye is drawn off the side of the page with nothing else to draw me back in. Maybe just me, but I feel that you could maybe utilize the space in the top right quadrant of your page a little more. I know you've got some small trees and stars over there but it seems like it's too small to really draw my eye to that area.
That being said, I really like the concept of this boy 'defending' his bed castle from the monsters. I think it's a super cute idea with tons of potential. I think with a little more work, this will be a great piece!
It is really hard to show a child imagination in one drawing. Maurice Sendack's "Where the Wild Things Are" comes to mind, but Max's bedroom transforms over the course of 4 - 5 illustrations.
I think in your case, perhaps drawing the foot board and ghosting the castle over the foot board might help make the story a bit clear. Same with the hills at the front. Make those look like hills made from a blanket. Use every day objects you might find in a kids room to mimic the scene of a castle being stormed by a monster. A dresser and toy box side by side could be mountains in the distance
For the monster, you could have the family dog or cat ghosted as a dragon or some other mystical creature a kid might think up. Or even a little sister could be the "monster".
One way the monster would work as you have it now would be to have it be a shadow coming from the hallway door, with light coming from the hall, being your primary light source, with some ambient and reflected light filling in to help create the forms
I would crop much of the ceiling out of the frame so as to not have all the open space at the top.
@tom-barrett @Nxndraw Thank you for your helpful feedback! I tried to implement it and like what came out of it. I replaced the monster with the house cat and positioned it a little more centrally. The birds and the fence are an attempt to keep the eyes in the picture. The carpet and stuffed animals transform into a pasture to make the transformation more obvious. I like this version much better than the previous one! One problem: I don't know what to paint in the bottom right: Fade it out? Paint a hill / tree / board in the foreground?
Jeremy Ross last edited by
Hi @Annika-Wenzel , this is coming out great!
One suggestion; Since the cat looks humongous! You might consider changing the main character from a boy to a mouse and revise the rectangle door to a curved entrance, like a typical mouse hole on a house.
Do I see a boy hiding behind a sheep?
Can’t wait to see the finished piece!
@Jeremy-Ross To change it to mouse and cat sounds like a fun idea
Unfortunately the boy was already painted when I read your suggestion so the mouse has to get her entrance another time.
I finished the piece and am pretty satisfied with it. I wanted to challenge myself with perspective and with painting something indoor. Learned a lot and excited about using the learned on other pieces.
After scanning the painting I will try myself on some editing, we'll see how well that goes :D!
"Another night, another fight. Who would win the duvet battle this time?"
Jeremy Ross last edited by
Great job @Annika-Wenzel !
@Annika-Wenzel I like the overall color scheme and story, and all the small details blending reality and the imaginary. Nice work on blending the scene outside the window in to the waterfall of his imagination! And you seem to have good control over the watercolor. The rocks and castle walls the really good.
Here are a couple things to keep in mind for your next piece. Some of this could be fixed digitally on this illustration if that is what you plan:
watch for tangents: where the point of the sword meets the corner of the right tower is a tangent. also, the edge of the waterfall on the right tower is another tangent.
blending elements: since the door opening is part of the "imagination" side of the illustration, perhaps some dark tree shadows (like from a forest on the edge of the kingdom) might help blend the door into the scene
perspective: your tower roofs have some perspective issues
non-essential characters: While I really like the glowing birds, not sure what they bring to the story. Adding characters "just to keep eyes in the scene" is not the best choice. Perhaps a large moon behind a forest to help blend that edge with the newly added shadows around the door opening.
strengthening your story: the sheep at the base of the castle seem like good fodder for an attack. Having them show fear, or be bunched together, might help make the illustration stronger.
I know the deadline is close to change this much more, but hopefully these suggestions help on future illustrations. Enjoyed seeing the progress!
@tom-barrett Thank you for your feedback!
I actually really tried to watch for tangents (after watching the last htfya) but somehow I got lost in the painting process
I edited a bit and tried to blend the door more with the room using darker shadows.
The idea with the moon I really like! The next time I am going to think a bit more about what to use.