March 3rd Thursday - Post critique modifications... please critique!

  • Hi everyone!

    First I would like to thanks @lee-white, @will-terry and @jake-parker for critiquing my work this month, it is always incredibly helpful! I do have the tendency to want to include more, more, MORE stuff in my illustrations and I think I need to realize that less is often more!

    So after your critique, I went right back to my cintiq to rework my piece! @will-terry, you were right, the painting was done traditionally (soft pastels) but my sketch was digital.

    Here is the before and after version (sketch + quick value study). What do you think ?
    I will probably paint that one in soft pastels too, but before that I really want a strong sketch/composition.

    Finally, I was simply wondering if in another setting (i.e. not a spot illustration) this piece could work as it is (maybe tweaking the colors a little and increasing the size of the spider) or not. (in all honesty, don't be afraid to hurt my feelings!)

    Thanks!! 🙂

    Show & Tell NoemieGionetLandry.jpg

    Show&Tell - NGLandry post critique.jpg

  • Sorry, don't really have a critique but this was one of my favorites from the last 3rd Thursday challenge. The new sketch looks very well balanced.

  • SVS OG

    @NoWayMe Having watched the critique I can see why they made the suggestions to fit with the spot format, and your second sketch is great for that.... personally though I also love the original submission, just in the sense that I think it's a lot of fun, interesting and very well polished as a final piece. It also shows that you can illustrate a classroom setting effectively, and have lots of different children that still work together lots of good stuff going on, if you forget about the need for it to be a spot.

    If it were me I'd want to include the original piece in a portfolio anyway, perhaps making tweaks digitally like they said in the critique, to balance the size of the spider/outer children, and to make the overall colour scheme less beigey like Lee suggested.

  • I agree with everything Jason and Dulcie said. Your submission is wonderful, however the focal point stands out in the second piece.

  • @Jason-Kellogg Thanks!

    @Dulcie Thanks Dulcie! I also think I will put it in my portfolio after I am finished tweaking it on photoshop (at least for now, until I have better work to display). I will also paint the second sketch to have a true spot illustration in my portfolio as well! Thanks for the comments 🙂

    @Carrie Thanks!

  • I made some slight adjustment to the original, the biggest being making the spider bigger! I also changed the colors a little. This is actually a lot closer to the original pastel version, I desaturated the image a lot before submitting it the first time to try to increase the focus on Haven's red shirt, but after hearing the comments of it being to grey/beige, I think I might have been overboard a little!

    I tried changing the color of the teacher's shirt like @lee-white suggested but it looks "digitally corrected", so I think I'll have to leave it this way... But I'll make sure not to make the same mistake when I do the spot illustration redo.

    Anyway I hope this is better, please let me know what you think and if you see other corrections I should do!

    Show & Tell post critique corrections.jpg

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