March 3rd Thursday - Haven never got permission

  • Here's what I have so far for this month's prompt: "Haven brought it to show and tell...even though she never got permission"

    Loving what I'm seeing from everyone else so far, so I'm a bit intimidated.

    Suggestions? Critiques? Thanks for looking! 8mothrahavengiantspidertableWEB.jpg

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    @Nancy-Gormezano Hey Nancy - i like your concept! - i am guessing that you will make Haven pop with lighting when you are close to being finished - but even so i think it is worth mentioning that i looked at this image on several occasions trying to come up with something productive to say but it was not until last night that i noticed Haven was the little fly....i missed her completely (says more about me than your image i'm sure :)) - anyways the way i read it now is that Haven has brought the spider - i think the main reason i thought the spider was the teacher at first was because "show and tell" was written in the spider web - maybe a chalk board with "show and tell written on it" and a teacher's desk next to the teacher might help the story - the other thing is i thing you might want to make Haven much bigger - look forward to seeing the next step 🙂

  • @Kevin-Longueil Thanks Kevin, I appreciate your input - good points!

    Yes I was afraid it wasn't obvious enough that Haven is the little moth/fly.

    I wanted her to be tiny, in contrast to the size of the teacher and spider, but I will see if there is some other way to make it more obvious, as to who is who. And yes, the lighting and contrast with background can be tweaked to make Haven more obvious, moving table and books, and maybe adding other students.

    (Before seeing your comments), At first I had the teacher holding book with cover of "Charlotte's Web", but thought that might not be ok to include (IP wise)? What do you think? Does this read better? Should I include second web as in first image, along with book in teachers hand? Do I still need a table behind teacher, with maybe other student bugs (same size of Haven) on table?5hmothrahavengiantspiderbigwebcharlotteWEB3.jpg

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    @Nancy-Gormezano Hi Nancy - i think that you don't need the book for sure - also like it without second web i think - one thing i think is that the background is really competing with the image - so interesting and so much contrast - i did a quick cut and paste of a more simplified arrangement - the idea is a circular composition where you go from chalkboard to Haven to teacher and from teachers arm back to chalkboard - i did not add a background though but i thought it would be interesting to see what it would look like without one..... i think it needs one though but maybe not quite so interesting of a background - i could be wrong for sure - just sharing thoughts 🙂 Attachment-1-6.jpeg

  • @Kevin-Longueil Thanks again!

    I have all along resisted putting in the chalkboard (as it seemed too obvious) - yes, it works...Drat. Had also wanted to communicate/suggest that school is out in the woods. Maybe I will try to come up with a chalkboard equivalent. But will ditch the book.

    Will see if I can work web into composition (with or without chalkboard), as I want to communicate the teacher getting entangled.

    Have been playing with the size of Haven and similarly moved it to where you have her and about the same size. Yeah my background is tooo interesting, will see what I can come up with, tone it down, change colors (perhaps desaturate). Thanks again for your suggestions!

  • Changed background coloring and scaled down to 90% horizontal. Moved and scaled Haven up, changed hand positions. Moved spider, and changed leg positions. 13-90scalepurplelavendarmothrahavengiantspiderWEB13.jpg (Hmmm...noticing smearing on white part of background - will fix later)

  • fixed smearing of background, added leash, scaled background differently, modified spider legs, added hair, gloves to Haven.

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    @Nancy-Gormezano Hey Nancy - I like the changes you have made - I was wondering if the background will be muted when you do the final lighting - or if there will be much darker darks in the characters when you are done? - right now I think the background is competing still - I don't understand the 3d process very well (I did just download Sculptris though and ordered a 3d mouse type thingy) - but I think I remember this is just a stage in the building of the image and then you light it near the end...? anyways i'll stop mentioning it - you mentioned earlier that you wanted to show that they were in the woods - I had a random thought on this that instead of a chalkboard the could be on a large tree branch will a cutoff branch that has those edges that grow over the cutoff behind them - this could serve as the chalkboard - I put a link to the type of branch I'm thinking of below - anyways the reason I mention this is it still seems like the spider might be in the teacher or even Haven because the spider wrote "show and tell" - I could be the only one who get confused though - just wanted to share that thought - anyways look forward to the final!

  • @Kevin-Longueil Thanks Kevin, I really appreciate you taking the time to give me feedback.

    I'm gathering you think the current lighting doesn't work. Yes, in 3D I can change it easily, at any point. I was liking the current lighting, because it allowed more contrast between background (which is a 2d image of course) and made the characters pop (IMO). I will play with a different lighting scheme, as well as muting the background (instead or both). I had also tried a more muted green background, but it didn't pop for me.

    The "knot" in the tree trunk, is an interesting idea! I will think on it. I might put a chalkboard eraser in the teachers hand, replace the web with tree, instead, or do both.... or....

    Maybe I will change what the spider wrote as I want to communicate that the spider had a hand in Haven's decision to bring him to class ... where he knew lunch would be served...(evil grin)

    Thanks again for the feedback!

  • Went more subdued. Changed lighting, background, poses. Got rid of text and web. 23newlighting140FLgreenWEB23.jpg blah. Getting sick of this...

  • Added more little mothies, got rid of ground, added lighter web, words back in, pointer. Too much? story clearer? EDIT - added 2nd version with purple background, lighter lighting. I think I like purple better.26pointingstickmoremothslighterwebWEB26.jpg27pointingsticknew2lighting140FLpurpstarsWEB27.jpg

  • Changed background (AGAIN), added tree, easel, changed coloring on little mothies, changed eye direction on spider. I hope this reads better?

    Thanks @Kevin-Longueil. Without your comments, I probably would not have pursued this further. Your feedback was a great help. 38lettersNEWhavensWEB38.jpg

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    @Nancy-Gormezano Personally, not that I'm the best judge, but I think I like the one with the green background (above the purple-ish blue one ) because you mentioned you wanted it to be in the woods and that makes since for bugs. I also like it because there are more than one student. I was a little confused in the first ones by what was for show and tell, to be honest. Having bigger moths and more than one helps a lot. I haven't decided about the web though-if it should be there or not but if so, I definitely like the white version. I love the characters!

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    I also like the bottom one's quite a change from the first!

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    @Nancy-Gormezano This looks very good! It reads so much better to me - we know where they are now and it is clear that who Haven is - I think if you were up for any more tweaking I would just see what it might look like if you were to bring the lighter colored night sky up far enough that is was behind Haven too - this would real establish their focal point as being Haven - right now when I squint I see the spider's back as being the focal point - you could try darkening slightly the lower reaches of the spider's back too - but really I think you composition is working great now and these are just random ideas - great work!

  • @Marsha-Kay-Ottum-Owen - Thanks for the feedback! I added some green to the background (hope that works better?).

    @Kevin-Longueil - Thanks again! (I didn't see your comment until just now so these are more changes that I am testing out):

    I changed the lighting, to try to make it look like this is "Night School".EDIT: switched to a lighter Night School version, first upload was too dark for me. Maybe it's still too dark?
    I also changed the focus to be on "IT", who just happens to be hanging out by the candle.42-10AI-RimOnCandlefiregreenblue3starsWEB42.jpg

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    @Nancy-Gormezano I do like the added green 🙂

  • couldn't stand it so dark - I think this is DONE (hah! never done EDIT: changed branch, brown moth pose) ...Thanks again for the help!39CandleNewlightingWEB39.jpg

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    @Nancy-Gormezano Looks great!

  • This is really funny! I just love your style, so unique.

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