Honest feedback please :-)
Adam Thornton 0 last edited by
I'd be grateful for some honest feedback. I'm painting (digitally) a Christmas card for a local charity. The only guidance is to do a more traditional design and to have a robin. The robin here is in the main colours of the charity. The concept is that the robin has caught a falling snowflake (those large clumps of snow that fall sometimes). Any ideas would be appreciated, even if you think it's good or not. But if you think it's not then please do say!
Thanks very much.
Jeremy Ross last edited by
Hi @adam-thornton-0, I think the piece is rendered beautifully; however, I have to admit I didn’t see the snowflake the Robin was catching before you pointed it out.
Perhaps because the action doesn’t have a strong silhouette? I feel a profile view would fix this, but looks like you’ve finished the piece already.
What if you lowered the right leg and put a dark contrast behind the snowflake? Also, what if you rendered the snowflake a little more since it looks like a snowball?
Finally, I would splash some lights on the Robin to brighten it up and make the piece feel happier. The light can symbolize hope or spirituality.
Hope these comments help! It’s great you’re doing this for your church, I’m sure they’ll love it!
Adam Thornton 0 last edited by
@jeremy-ross Thanks so much for those comments, Jeremy. Really valuable and I agree with them all. Also, I noticed that the beak is too wide for a robin. I think it kinda looks more like a platypus! I will do your suggestions.
KathrynAdebayo last edited by KathrynAdebayo
Hi Adam, I agree with Jeremy. It's a beautiful card. Another way of showing the bird holding the snowflake more clearly could be having both feet clasping it in front of its body. Thanks for sharing your work!
@adam-thornton-0 I think it’s beautiful! Slightly hard to see from the beak angle that the snow drop is in it though and also the snow behind the bird is maybe a little too bright and taking away from the bird -
chrisaakins last edited by chrisaakins
@Adam-Thornton-0 Hi Adam. This is beautifully rendered. I think this is a strong idea. I do see that you have some atmospheric perspective issues created by your blurring. The trees (specifically the branches) in the background are more crisp and clear than your bird creating the illusion that they are closer to us than the bird and are more important. Your composition of the bird is off a little too. You've inadvertently divided the page in half with the bird on one side and the trees on the other. You also created a tangent or two with the wings and the edge of the page. I think you could move the bird a little down and two to center to give it some space away from the edge. You could even enlarge the bird so that it is more of the focal point. I will post a draw-over to show what I mean.
chrisaakins last edited by
@Adam-Thornton-0 here is my hastily done done draw over. If it helps, rejoice! If not please feel free to disregard!
I blurred the tree in the background. I deblurred the snowflake. I would even make more contrast if you had time to create more of a focal point.