There are many of you guys that are so stinking amazing! I want you guys to create books, stories and comics that I can read to my children. Even ones that they can fall in love with on their own. I have been wrestling for the past year of wanting to have more time to create my work, to get better, and really give this art thing a "go." Learning more about the business side and all the other information found here make that dream more real than ever. It being more real makes it harder to feel trapped in my current position in life.
Please don't take this post as winning. Or one of those "oh, I wish I had that problem." This is just what I am slowly realizing with my work and myself as an artist. Think of "national women's day." This is my choice as a woman and don't go all feminist on me please.
I am a stay at home mom. I have 4 kids from ages 11-4. None of them took a bottle. That meant sleepless nights for mostly me. My husband works hard. Extremely hard. (as many of you all do). With his high demand job our home rolls aren't exactly 50/50. He swoops in for playtime after all the homework and after school things are done. and I wake up and get them all ready in the morning. Dr apps, allergy shots, carpool, practices, that's all me. He provides a good living for our family. I don't "need" to work and earn extra for our family to be comfortable and enjoy a few of the extra fun things. I will not put my husband's job and our families financial security for my personal self fulfillment.
Then there is a beast inside that needs to make things. As an artist that wants to work, have validation it is SO hard to not be jealous of those that have nothing but time to prefect and poor into their work and promote. I felt so bitter for a while that I had to give up something I wanted so badly all my life and that my artistic growth was stunted because I had no creative energy when I was pregnant and nursing babies and chasing toddlers.
Then my heart began to soften. Stupid time-hops on Facebook with my work and trying to dig up something on pinterest and finding work from 5 years ago. The straw that broke the camel's heart was a visit to my brother's house. One that recently moved back to a drivable distance. I saw the work spanning two decades. Work that I had forgotten I even made. Good work. Work that I was proud of. I never stopped making work. I have always created things for the people I love. That candle of creativity has always burned bright. No, not much money has exchanged hands over the past 15 years. But a lot of love has. Work that I tried my best on. That gave my full heart in creating.
So, if your paycheck hasn't come in yet. PEASE DON'T STOP MAKING WORK YOU ENJOY DOING! Don't stop sharing it with your friends and family. Hopefully, if you need to feed your family, the right people will see your work. I know there are so many of you I am dying to get in my library. I mean that with the most sincere part of my heart. You guys are brilliant. I "real" people in your life love your work (not just the hearts and likes and up-votes), even if you create it as much as you wish.
As one of the original painting tutorial man use to say, "Happy Painting."
“I can't think of anything more rewarding than being able to express yourself to others through painting. Exercising the imagination, experimenting with talents, being creative; these things, to me, are truly the windows to your soul.”