I'm back from a week in the woods, a few days sick, and 1 day at my first scbwi event.
@Dave-Ward I totally missed your feedback. Ack! Wish I had caught it because I can see that, even on my re-do, the meadow still feels too heavy. Well... I'll have to carry your advice with me into the next one.
@Jiří-Kůs I spent some of my vacation trying to get a feel for that morning light. I think this captures so much more of what I was going for.
@tallison7 thanks for the tips on the trees. I did a big re-working, and when I did I realized that I wanted the trees to be part of the story too (duh). So glad I did this!
I wanted to create a feeling that Charly is worried about being in his new town, but when he inspects it closely he sees that it's a welcoming place. I think with all the trial and error I'm a lot closer to my goal, although it doesn't seem to be flowing together well. That's ok. I'm calling it quits for now since it's almost 3rd thurs.
Thank you, everyone, for your feedback. I learned a lot from this piece. Couldn't ask for more than that!