January 3rd Thursday



  • Hi all, this is my first post here, I'm quite new and i'm from Italy. I made this sketch for the contest and I was looking for some critiques before i start the rendering. I'm not sure if it works in this way but... well if it doesn't, sorry for the bother. Thanks for the patience. :)
    January.jpg



  • @Kirthar73 That's exactly how it works! I really like this piece. I love the Monster's expression. Maybe push the idea that he's being caught in the act---could he be holding a section of the fence in his other hand?



  • @mattramsey Ok, saw your advice and i decided to rework it a bit...
    modifica.jpg



  • @Kirthar73 love it.

    just for fun--you wouldn't have to do this--what would it look like to keep everything as is but have him trying to hid that section of fence behind his back? Some it would be peeking over the top of his back.
    Might push the idea even more. Just a suggestion.



  • This is probably going to sound dumb, but when I look at this piece, it instinctively feels unfinished to me without the monster having a nose. I mean, I know it's a monster, and my imagination can correct me by saying, "Dude, it's a monster, not a person. He doesn't need a nose." Yet, my mind still wants to see one. Haha.

    I liked the suggestion of @mattramsey about the fence in the hand, because at first glance, I couldn't tell what was in the monster's mouth. I had to search the image to see what he might be eating. Maybe that's because the chunk of the missing fence was so close to the body or something.

    That said, I really like the old man character, and the straight on shot for the perspective really works. It's not always easy to achieve a sense of depth when you make this choice, but the repeating houses and fences in the background do wonders for that. Great job on those elements.



  • Here's my linework and tone. I admit that, actually, the idea can be pushed more and the monster pose can be more dinamic, but... well... I guess I have to study a bit more for that (bad excuse) and i'll keep that work for another piece. Hope to get some feedback :)
    contest 21.jpg



  • Hi @Kirthar73, I absolutely love this concept. The old mans posture and expression are perfect. I had an idea, I hope you don't mind. To have the neighbourhood look like the monster has had a jolly old much on the buildings and even Stans roof has suffered. I have done a little draw over. May be have the monster delicately eating the wood and looking more shocked that he's been caught. I have added a couple of foot prints too to show a before story. Just a few thoughts. Great work. I am really looking forward to seeing this completed.
    workover.jpg



  • @Peter-Jarvis uhm...quite a great advice... i'll see. Thanks, i Hope to post the new
    version soon :)



  • So i liked the @Peter-Jarvis sugestion, and actually it solves some problems concerning the silhouette for example, BUT I really like the side position of chewing (sorry for my crapy english...hope you'll understand)... i guess i'll go for something more like this sketch. I also liked the expression enhancement and the missing roof part idea :)contest 21b.jpg



  • Hi @kirthar73, I liked the side chew too. What about flipping the head so it's looking to the right and having the chew come from the left. It would be the same head, then you can have the arm silhouette against the sky.

    I have made a quick sketch, I hope you don't mind . .

    workover.jpg



  • I prefer the arm out and pinkys up as well. Gives the creature some personality.



  • Actualy the arm inside the silhoutte was a bad idea :) still i'm a it concerned about the expression...probably the change whould go for soethign more like this expression, if u have seen the movie...kfp_cookies.jpg apart for that I love the redrawingsand I'm really thankful for those :)


  • administrators

    Thanks for posting to the forums! Your work is lovely!

    I have a few suggestions that maybe you can use. The main thing I want to look at here is gesture and body positioning. One exercise I do with my students is make them draw scenes and they don't get to use any facial expressions or arms. It seems quite odd at first and looks bizarre, but the exercise is invaluable. What students learn from this is that most of their poses and gestures are actually only using the face and the arms. Many times the body and legs are just stationary and not really adding anything to the scene at all. I've seen many huge breakthroughs happen after this exercise.

    I've taken the liberty of trying it with your scene here and once we remove the facial expressions (which I love btw) and the arms, you will see both characters are actually just sitting there in a very stationary position. So I did a quick drawing to try and activate both of them without changing too much of their original intended gesture. Feel free to change any of it you like, but the point is that you can really move the characters around if you focus on more than the face and arms.

    I don't think the repeating houses are working very well, so I added some canvas on that right side and put in a wrecked house over there to show that your creature had been doing damage before he arrived on this guy's house.

    Hope that helps some. Let me know if you have any questions at all. : )

    Keep up the good work!

    -Lee

    1452521155292-workover-1.jpg

    1452521155292-workover.jpg



  • Thanks @Lee-White : this is gold for me. I'll rework the piece keeping the great tip, hoping I won't mess up :)


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