January 3rd Thursday!



  • I worked all day on my sketch for this month 3rd Thursday!

    My idea : Stanley is a dog that is not too happy to see his "parents" coming home with a crying baby! (Of course, if this was a book, Stanley and the baby would be best friends at the end!)

    After several thumbnails and sketches, I came up with this composition. Any thoughts on the composition ?! The blank space in the corner is for text.

    Thanks!

    Stanley.jpg



  • I actually really like the composition. Nice depth and angle. The widow box on the house is a nice touch. I also like the pose of the baby, with outstretched arms like that. I sooooo wish I could sketch this well.



  • What a great idea! Well done!!



  • I love this idea, it's a genius response to the prompt! Its fits the text really well and perfect concept for a children's book.

    The one thing I would mention is that maybe the position of the car will cause problems when you get to the colouring - if, for example you were to colour it red it would look a bit distracting with the way it wraps around the mother's head. If you keep it like that it would be better a subtle colour and the values lighter...ideally the mum and baby might stand out better without the car behind, I realise it adds to the storytelling though.



  • @Dulcie Your right! I'll try to modify that when I work on the final sketch! Thanks!



  • Great positioning and concept! You've done a great job (especially with the window) of creating interest in an everyday kind of scene. I really love all the expressions and the dog is wonderful!



  • Hi @Nowayme

    Such an adorable start to this!

    Here are some notes you might find helpful or annoying, probably both. 😉

    Your homie,

    Kendra

    Notes:

    • Angled the house a bit so its lines didn't match up with the edges of the paper. Angles are considered more welcoming and inviting then straight up and down lines.
    • Moved Mom and baby up so they would be the 1st thing we look at, dog comes second. Moved dad so we wouldn't see his face since he's not as important as the others and pulls focus. Sorry dad. 😕

    Redlines
    redlines notes.png

    Redlines with Rule of Thirds:
    rule of thirds redline view.png



  • @Kendra-Minadeo Oh wow, thanks a lot! This works a lot better (not annoying at all, I love having helpful critiques!)

    I'm not sure I understand what the dad is doing though haha! But I'll figure something out so he doesn't steal the focus!

    Thanks again!



  • Ya in the redlines I had the Dad getting stuff out of the car - just something so we didn't see his face but was still present.
    Can't wait to see the progress! you got this! 🙂

    @NoWayMe said:

    @Kendra-Minadeo Oh wow, thanks a lot! This works a lot better (not annoying at all, I love having helpful critiques!)

    I'm not sure I understand what the dad is doing though haha! But I'll figure something out so he doesn't steal the focus!

    Thanks again!



  • @Kendra-Minadeo I'm torn on this. On the one hand, I very much like how taking out the dad and obscuring him makes the illustration much simpler, and with greater focus. Something feels "right" about the way you have re-imagined the positioning of the characters. Yet, I like seeing that dad bounding around the corner with his hands full, too. I really can't decide which I like more. Maybe dad is following close behind mom, and bleeding off the page? I like the suggestion about angling the vertical lines of the house too. But, I almost want to see them angle in the other direction, as though the house is falling back, rather than forward.



  • Sounds like you have a lot of ideas. I suggest you do a redline or draw-over, or some simple thumbnails to help clarify which might be a stronger composition. 🙂

    @Pixby said:

    @Kendra-Minadeo I'm torn on this. On the one hand, I very much like how taking out the dad and obscuring him makes the illustration much simpler, and with greater focus. Something feels "right" about the way you have re-imagined the positioning of the characters. Yet, I like seeing that dad bounding around the corner with his hands full, too. I really can't decide which I like more. Maybe dad is following close behind mom, and bleeding off the page? I like the suggestion about angling the vertical lines of the house too. But, I almost want to see them angle in the other direction, as though the house is falling back, rather than forward.



  • Personally, I think if you have to choose between the dad and the car, the car is less important to the storytelling so that should go first. Whereas the dad is nicely drawn and I think it adds to the dog's horror - both Mum AND Dad are besotted with this horrible wailing creature! So here's another idea for you, with the car taken out so it's not a distraction (so Dad's parked the car behind the house instead, and he's walking from there with all the baby stuff). I made Dad a bit smaller, Mum a bit bigger. Then you could add bushes/vague greenery behind Mum so it doesn't steal the show. Anyway just thoughts 🙂

    stanley2.jpg



  • You have some great elements. I love the dog's expression and the adoring mom and dad but I feel they read in the wrong order. The window with the object in it stands out more to me than anything. Then I see the dad--mostly because the window and dad are framed by the dog and baby. Try putting the window to the left of the door and the dad to the right of the mom/baby in a very quick sketch to see how it flows. Use the 3rd grid recommended by Kendra. Very cute concept!



  • Thanks everyone for the comments! I will rework the sketch this week and repost it here after!! I really appreciate the help!



  • I think it looks great and I kind of think the dad is important too. I like seeing him happily coming around the corner with balloons but, maybe it's a distraction if the mom and baby are the focus. I hate to leave a dad out of the family though 🙂



  • Hello everyone!

    I reworked the sketch, trying to keep the dad, but put the mom/baby as #1 focus and the dog as #2. I also kept the car... since the mom is now higher, her head is above the car so I don't think it will compete too much and I think it adds visual interest, but I am not sure about that...

    Any thoughts on how I could improve it further ?

    Thanks!

    Stanley - Sketch 2.jpg

    (I just realized I lost the ballon in the process, I will add it back later)



  • Good correction, I think it reads as you intended now. I feel like Stanley isn't moving as fast as he can in this pose... I'm not sure how to correct that on the stairs... One idea would be to put the flap on his back as he is coming out?



  • Hi everyone, really awesome to see all the suggestions and new things being tried for this! It's so great to see people offering such useful and thought out feedback to each other, I need to get some stuff posted to get in on it as soon as I have time.

    Sometimes when I'm working on a piece it helps me to take a couple elements and push them to more extremes then I've been doing, so I thought I'd try applying that to this and see what happened. The size variation is nice, and to me having the mom and baby closer up kind of draws you into the interaction on a different level. Hope this is thought provoking if anything. Nice work!!!

    stanleybaby.jpg



  • I really like this version @natiwata. There's no doubt where the focus is but you still have dad and car included.. Will be great to see where @NoWayMe takes this next!



  • @natiwata Oh wow! I think it really reads better like this! I will definitely try the "push to extreme" tip!

    Thanks!